all the crazies come out...

apparently when there's alot of snow but it's not that cold the crazies in Winnipeg get a little twitterpated.

I usually don't tell stories like this because they usually come off like you're trying to, subtly, brag. I assure you, this is in no way my intent.

First of all, things like this don't happen to me alot. I feel like it has more to do with a change in weather than anything else.

It all started yesterday. I'd just walked to the grocery store a block away from our apartment. I bought much more than I intended and the lady only single bagged it. It was a very full bag. So I had to walk home carrying it in my arms. As I was doing just this, I first passed a couple of large hoodlums who, with such charm, remarked "hey baby, where're you goin'?" as I walked by. To be fair, living on the cusp of Winnipeg's West End, this is not all that rare an occurrence and I'm pretty good at doing the tried-and-true stare-way-ahead-act-deaf-keep-walking. So no more trouble.

Then, much closer to home now, I all of a sudden notice a biker, in the bike lane close to the sidewalk, biking the wrong way up Maryland (which is a one way street). "What a nutcase." I think to myself.
"Hey!" I hear. I look at him; he's concentrating on not getting hit by a car. I can't figure out if he's talking to me.
"Hey!" he says again.
"Oh shit," I think.
At the tiny little path through the enormous snow bank off the bike lane, he gets off the street, and hauls his bike through the path and catches up to me. I never quit walking.
"Ah...hey," he says, having caught up with me; I'm still walking. "Uh, yea, I never do this, I'm just a pretty wierd guy and you look like you're having a really bad day."
"Oh, no.." I say with a pathetic half laugh. "oh geez," I'm thinking. "Great, I look grumpy and now this guy's going to tell me about Jesus."
"Uh, yea," he says, "um I was just wondering if I could get your number, because I'm shallow?" (This is verbatum, folks. I don't think I could make up stuff this ridiculous.)
"Oh," I say, half laughing, "sorry, I'm married."
"Oh, well, ahh, congratulations. He's a really lucky guy."
"ha, thanks." I say. Then I noticed the buttons he had on his backpack straps and how his touque was one of those ugly ones IDS students where because it makes them feel connected to their friends in El Salvador and the fact that this whole episode was so frightfully sad, and I didn't want him to feel bad about himself so I said,
"I would've, though, if I wasn't."
...big. fat. lie.



But the crazies keep coming out of the woodwork.

Tonight I was walking home from youth alone because Caleb and the older guys are having an over-nighter at the Church. I was just about the corner where I turn off the main street onto a residential one to head home. I'd just passed a few people and at the end of the line was this pretty big guy, walking alone. I don't quite know how to describe him. He didn't look like a total nutcase, but he did look like a walking argument for birth control. Anyhow, as I got quite close to the place I wanted to turn he stopped and said something to me like "hey..." (I know, they're always so clever.)
"shit," I thought. "hih?" I said. (not a typo, I'm pretty sure I said "hih") Keep in mind, I was still walking. You have to be a whole new kind of crazy to get me to stop. Or cute.
"You know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to ask you out." He said while giving me the up-down. (The good ones are always charming.)
"OK Thanks!" I said, surprisingly cheery, as I turned the corner and just kept going.
I looked back and he was still standing there for a moment. I braced myself. "If he follows me, shit is going to get real real, real quick." I thought.

But then, he turned and kept walking down the street. (Thank you, God.)

Like I said, not bragging. I think that's pretty clear. I will say this: things like this really only happen to me when I haven't washed my hair or done my makeup for an extended amount of time. So, lesson learned. I need to wash my hair more.

But remember: it'll happen to you.