feeling S.M.R.T.

1. Today I was walking home thinking, "hey, i know how to tell my house keys that look identical apart (one is for the building front door, one for the apartment front door) - one of them is "facing in" (that is, the teeth face "in") and the other is "facing out"!" Problem solved I thought. SO, i came home later and was working furiously to get my front door key (the one facing in) to open the $#*%(#^ door for oooh...a solid 3 minutes. "But it's facing IN" I thought furiously to myself, glancing over my shoulder at the wino sitting on the curb watching me. "Great, they changed the #@%^ locks. Perfect." Nearly defeated, well actually entirely defeated, I tried the 'wrong' key.  . . . as it turns out, the way that one's keys "face" depends on the way in which one is holding their key ring. awesome. 

2. The cat was acting like an orangotan and tearing around the apartment (which includes jumping up one's leg, and also jumping onto one's ass to do a little cliff hanging). "Oh, he needs water. Great. I'll fill up his water dish in the kitchen and carry it, full to the brim, into his little cat room. (instead of bringing the pitcher to the room to fill up the dish)," I thought.

 Tip:  Full dish of water + cat's claws dug into your ass = full glass of cold water dumped onto your head and face and everything around you. 

3. After drying off, I thought I should light some incense. "Strange. This incense doesn't seem to be lighting. I'll just keep trying"... unless they make 'burning stick' scented incense, i lit the wrong end. cl-ass-ic. 

aaaand that's just the last 20 minutes of my life.