Thursday, June 16, 2005

holy rambling batman...

Wow, so much for quitting the blog hey.
Just to rope you into reading this... welll nevermind. I sure couldn't get that picture to work out for me. Maybe later.
I'm in shock that I'm about to express this electronically. Not my style... maybe e-God has a higher purpose here...who knows. This is my heart right now: I sinned yesterday. (shocker) But the weight of the sin has taken a significant toll. I would share the details but I don't see the worth. If to be angry at a man is to murder him, then the minutiae here makes no difference. The fact is this: I've long looked into the face of my Love, and still I renounce Grace. I believed my greatest desire was to share Him to build up His followers, to be religious in Divine terms, to do all these things feverishly and weighty. Whom's heart is it whose desire is this and yet allow themselves such severe iniquity. Not that I'm under the impression that by my own strength I could find myself adequacy, never, but, I am capable of deciding to be of more substance than I have so far proven. Oh sweet Hope, is it possible that from this I learn real faith? How have I spoken so many words in such ignorance? Of course, to overcome doubt, to ask in Faith forgiveness, who can lead without assurance in this? Oh I can't type anymore, I have to go write this down. Thanks for letting me think that through... no comments please.