Good Rocky's Revival

notes from a staff meeting

2011-02-09T19:31:00.000-08:00

Generally, I think it's a good policy not to record events of staff meetings on one's blog. Today, however, was a doozy.

We were discussing ways to highlight the upcoming Lenten Small Groups and how we might encourage people to sign up for them. One of my colleagues suggested making announcements that double as teaching as to why Lent is important which has worked in the past.

Donna: "Once we even had someone come out in sack-cloth and ashes, and used some drama and humour..(trails off, (for the purposes of this story) due to interruption by another colleague...)

Elaine: "oh, we need Bonnie to do these announcments..."

Now...a dear friend (I'm not sure what he'd think if I used his name so why don't we call him...nitsud...) who I am fourtunate enough to work with, was sitting across from me at the staff table. Apparently he didn't hear the comment made by E, and was still thinking along the lines of D and chimed in, saying "yea, you could totally just tear your shirt..."

To which I responded:

Buuut it got funnier...

Nitsud: "Well, not YOU.."

(everyone else is now laughing)

Kirsten: "Well you could..."

Me: "Oh, well, in that case..."

Nitsud: (acting out the ensuing scnario if the above did happen..) "your small group sign-ups are humongous" (...annnd at the last word another of my fellow (male) colleagues who had been quiet in the conversation up until now, let out a roar of laughter.)

...to which I responded...

listen

2011-02-01T17:45:00.001-08:00

I know I don't always use it correctly but I'm getting better. And at least I'm trying.

And I love it. I love how superfluous it is; we don't really need it. I'm wary of excess in all other parts of my life. Isn't it wonderful that one can be so overindulgent when it comes to punctuation?

2011-01-31T18:09:00.000-08:00

a man from St. Margaret's died today. He was pretty old and pretty ill. He breathed his last in prayer, I'm told.

...O Holy Trinity, one God;
Graciously hear us.
Behold, O Lord, this thy servant, and in thy loving mercy,
Good Lord, deliver him. ...
To receive him to thyself,
We beseech thee, good Lord. ...

He was an important man; he was a man of the cloth. He'd been ill for quite a while; I really only met him once. But what's funny about churches is that some people, even if they haven't dawned the threshold in years, leave their mark in the stones, in the books, in the windows. I only shook his hand once but I meet him there, in that holy place, under those glowing windows, amid the thewy pews, in the pages of the common prayers, in the people who flood the sanctuary. He was important; many of my friends will be mourning tonight.

...Depart, O Christian soul, out of this world,
In the Name of God the Father Almighty, who created thee;
In the Name of Jesus Christ, who redeemed thee;
In the Name of the Holy Ghost, who sanctifieth thee.
May thy rest be this day in peace, and thy dwelling place in the Paradise of God.

I think I shall go for a walk and a frozen salute.

all the crazies come out...

2011-01-28T20:19:00.001-08:00

apparently when there's alot of snow but it's not that cold the crazies in Winnipeg get a little twitterpated.

I usually don't tell stories like this because they usually come off like you're trying to, subtly, brag. I assure you, this is in no way my intent.

First of all, things like this don't happen to me alot. I feel like it has more to do with a change in weather than anything else.

It all started yesterday. I'd just walked to the grocery store a block away from our apartment. I bought much more than I intended and the lady only single bagged it. It was a very full bag. So I had to walk home carrying it in my arms. As I was doing just this, I first passed a couple of large hoodlums who, with such charm, remarked "hey baby, where're you goin'?" as I walked by. To be fair, living on the cusp of Winnipeg's West End, this is not all that rare an occurrence and I'm pretty good at doing the tried-and-true stare-way-ahead-act-deaf-keep-walking. So no more trouble.

Then, much closer to home now, I all of a sudden notice a biker, in the bike lane close to the sidewalk, biking the wrong way up Maryland (which is a one way street). "What a nutcase." I think to myself.
"Hey!" I hear. I look at him; he's concentrating on not getting hit by a car. I can't figure out if he's talking to me.
"Hey!" he says again.
"Oh shit," I think.
At the tiny little path through the enormous snow bank off the bike lane, he gets off the street, and hauls his bike through the path and catches up to me. I never quit walking.
"Ah...hey," he says, having caught up with me; I'm still walking. "Uh, yea, I never do this, I'm just a pretty wierd guy and you look like you're having a really bad day."
"Oh, no.." I say with a pathetic half laugh. "oh geez," I'm thinking. "Great, I look grumpy and now this guy's going to tell me about Jesus."
"Uh, yea," he says, "um I was just wondering if I could get your number, because I'm shallow?" (This is verbatum, folks. I don't think I could make up stuff this ridiculous.)
"Oh," I say, half laughing, "sorry, I'm married."
"Oh, well, ahh, congratulations. He's a really lucky guy."
"ha, thanks." I say. Then I noticed the buttons he had on his backpack straps and how his touque was one of those ugly ones IDS students where because it makes them feel connected to their friends in El Salvador and the fact that this whole episode was so frightfully sad, and I didn't want him to feel bad about himself so I said,
"I would've, though, if I wasn't."
...big. fat. lie.

But the crazies keep coming out of the woodwork.

Tonight I was walking home from youth alone because Caleb and the older guys are having an over-nighter at the Church. I was just about the corner where I turn off the main street onto a residential one to head home. I'd just passed a few people and at the end of the line was this pretty big guy, walking alone. I don't quite know how to describe him. He didn't look like a total nutcase, but he did look like a walking argument for birth control. Anyhow, as I got quite close to the place I wanted to turn he stopped and said something to me like "hey..." (I know, they're always so clever.)
"shit," I thought. "hih?" I said. (not a typo, I'm pretty sure I said "hih") Keep in mind, I was still walking. You have to be a whole new kind of crazy to get me to stop. Or cute.
"You know what I'm not going to do? I'm not going to ask you out." He said while giving me the up-down. (The good ones are always charming.)
"OK Thanks!" I said, surprisingly cheery, as I turned the corner and just kept going.
I looked back and he was still standing there for a moment. I braced myself. "If he follows me, shit is going to get real real, real quick." I thought.

But then, he turned and kept walking down the street. (Thank you, God.)

Like I said, not bragging. I think that's pretty clear. I will say this: things like this really only happen to me when I haven't washed my hair or done my makeup for an extended amount of time. So, lesson learned. I need to wash my hair more.

But remember: it'll happen to you.

A tribute...

2011-01-28T13:21:00.000-08:00

Herein lies a salute to the creature that became the subject of one of my favourite Beatles' songs of all time and the namesake of this little electronic abode.*

"Professor Noah's Spaceship" by Brian Wildsmith

this freaked me out... (and I kind of included it for Tiff)

photograph by Cory Arnold

image from "Wait 'Till the Moon is Full" by Margaret Wise Brown

this also freaked me out...(it gets a little dull after 0:45)

illustration by Mike Robertson

this is a double tribute both to raccoon and to every saturday morning of my childhood spent with the CBC

*I tried to find image creds for everything I could. That top one I had no luck with...sorry.

2011-01-27T15:51:00.000-08:00

Nothing makes me quite as anxious as a glass of wine that's almost empty.

2011-01-27T14:53:00.000-08:00

Do you ever have a moment that you really want to remember? Even to the point that you get really anxious thinking that you might not remember the moment or thing if something prevents you from commemorating it in someway? This happens to me all the time. Usually I feel an incessant need to write everything down. Especially when I'm studying or reading; I copy large sections of books and essays that I really want to remember and know. Sometimes I think it really does help to copy things out; there's something comforting about scrawling new ideas into your own notebook with your own ink; it feels like they become part of you. But most of the time it just slows everything down so that a book you love and are trying to really absorb takes you way longer to read than something you hate. And then you can't cover nearly as much ground - which is so discouraging, no?

I'm working on a new system of reading now. For some books I force myself to not take a pen or a pencil with me, so that I have to read and absorb and just trust that the things that are really important I will remember. For other books, I not only take a pencil with me but I completely indulge myself; the last novel I read has something underlined on nearly every page and I think I've got a good 5% of the whole thing scribbled into my notebook.

Now I just need to fill in the middle. Somewhere in between forcefully prohibiting myself and completely indulging myself - that's where I'm going to get alot of work done. Now, I know some might offer some systems as suggestions, and I'm going to be honest right now: I generally resist, fiercly, any system I haven't come up with on my own. I'm just egotistical that way.

2011-01-26T20:04:00.001-08:00

"But I'm a bad priest, you see. I know - from experience - how much beauty Satan carried down with him when he fell. Nobody ever said the fallen angels were the ugly ones." -G.Greene

"Fall of Icarus" by Marc Chagall, 1975.

Top 5 Top 5's

2010-11-01T10:23:00.000-07:00

74 hours on a bus this summer. We made lists. They inspired me to make these.

Top 5 Seinfeld (the show) lines:
1. Kramer: "Hoochie Mama!"
2. Elaine (to sleeping guy on plane...in coach): "HEY"
3. Elaine (re: George's toupe): "I don't like this thing! And here's what I'm doing with it..."
4. George : "Jerk store. Jerk store is the line. JERK STORE."
5. (drunk) Elaine (to Jerry in India): "Goodnight, Jugdish"

Top 5 things I wish I owned:
1. a Canon EOS 60D
2. these lights:

3. this hummingbird melon baller:

4. this headboard:

5. these owl bookends:

Top 5 Things To Do In The Morning:
1. sip coffee
2. act silly with Caleb
3. appreciate how great i look when i'm 'fresh faced' (sometimes. see number 4)
4. laugh at how terrible i look after a simple night's rest
5. eat breakfast.

Top 5 Songs I Listened To Today:
1. "Makin' Out" - Pomplamoose
2. "Wolves" - Phosphorescent (thank you spi & k.sol)
3. "Oh Johnny Oh Johnny Oh" - The Andrews Sisters
4. "To Be Alone With You" - Sufjan Stevens
5. "Heart of Gold" - Neil Young

Top 5 Stories (other people tell, but I've told to myself recently):
1. David once told this story at a dinner party...that his sister in law saw a little boy hanging from the side of a pick up truck, his feet a few inches off the ground. He was holding onto the side of the truck for quite a while when she walked by and heard him say, very quietly, "won't somebody help the boy?"
2. Jody's story about a rogue babboon who stole a bag of Melissa's mangoes in Zambia.
3. Caleb used to work at Pizza Hut. Once he had to take a grease tray from something outside and empty it in the dumpster. But when he opened up the dumpster a bunch of birds flew up and were swarming him trying to get the grease. So he waved them off WITH the grease tray which meant he ended up accidentally pouring have the grease onto his head. Also, a girl he was trying to impress was coming out to visit the next day. (He couldn't get it out by then...I'm crying right now I'm laughing so hard.)
4. The best/worst week at the 2-4: Jody sees a mouse. We wreck the apartment trying to find it. I go on a date. I come home, Jody's crouched on the footstool holding the ribbon tied to our homemade mouse trap (garbage can, kleenex box, ribbon). Call in Bill to set traps. Couple days later, hot water pipe bursts in bathroom. Yikes. Awesome.
5. This is one I tell: Once, Caleb and I were walking down Corydon Avenue. I think it was kind of early in the day or something, anyway, there weren't alot of other people walking around. Anyway, Caleb and I were discussing my policy about not running for buses. "I just never want to be that guy...that's still running even though the bus is looong gone." All of a sudden Caleb is acting out "that guy" - he's pretending he's holding his backpack on one shoulder, hailing the bus with his other arm yelling "HOLD....HOLD...HOOOOLLLLD." I started crying with laughter. I couldn't walk, I just stood there crouched over laughing and crying while Caleb did the same back toward me. Just as this is all occuring this very large man walks out of the corner store and is both walking toward us and watching us. As I inch my way past him still laughing, still crying, still half-crouched over, and as Caleb keeps running up ahead yelling "hold" to the imaginary bus, this guy looks at me and lets out a couple of (slow) "HA...HA....HA's" and then as we pass him he yells "YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAH!" and raises his fist in the air (a la Breakfast Club last scene.) It kind of changed my life.

i just wanted somebody to know

2010-09-22T14:05:00.000-07:00

that the weather in Winnipeg is miserable at the moment. and the day at the office was a little hectic. made all the more frantic by the fact that the boiler isn't on yet so everything's a little frigid. i rounded out the afternoon by putting up posters in the freezing cold rain.

the upside was that i put up posters on my way to a meeting at a very warm cafe. however the short walk home still left me and my new shoes in a dismal way.

but now i finally am home. i have an electric blanket at my back. my feet are dry. my cat is calm at at my side. i am keen to get an assignment finished and i may even finish a blog post i started last week. (not this one).

all this to say, i'm having a very nice moment. the kind of moment you just want to tell someone else about to make sure it has a little more staying power.

and this is the painting that's been flitting through my mind all day.

oooooohhh...second edition

2010-06-25T18:30:00.000-07:00

It seems to be that time again. For one thing, I'm sitting around at the church waiting for Caleb and the youth group to get back ice-cream in hand. For another thing, it's been about a month...or maybe two...since I've filled Good Rocky in last. So, in the spirit of keeping in touch, this is what I've been up to:

1. Facebook. I just can't get enough of it. It's simply the best thing to ever happen to me. I love to catch up with long-lost friends, see all their latest photos, get invited to innumerable activities and be kept posted on everything teeny tiny thought that flits through the minds of so many people I know.

2. Lying. See above.

...ok. Seriously now, I can't really think of anything major that I've been up to since my last post. In truth I could probably sum it up in 3 words: work. school. rest. (repeat). So instead of what I have been doing, I think I'll turn my attention to things I will be doing in this very glorious time of year I like to call Summer. Well, maybe like half and half. (Half things I hope to do, half things I've done.)

1. going to the chapel...for so very many weddings this summer.

Jody & Jase. Sharelle & Matt. Mike & Lani. Geoff & Brielle. Christy & Evan. ravishing women. dapper men. bound by arresting delight and beatific devotion, i always find that weddings are the intrusion of hope into the world.

image cred

i don't know who took this...but i love it

image cred

2. Pretending I am Simon &/or Garfunkel.

Caleb and I are taking the bus out to Vancouver at the end of the summer. Epic bus-trips such as these remind me of the song "America" by S & G. (...maybe I should be pretending I'm Kathy, come to think of it...) We've mostly met terrified glances as we tell people our plans. Nevertheless, we are prepared for it to be chaos, to be toast by the time we get there, and to love it anyway.

PLUS once we get there we will be visiting all the friends that we never get to see enough AND we'll be taking in one of the aforementioned weddings. The excitement is intolerable. This also leads me to...

3. Reading

I finished Nikolski by Nicolas Dickner a little while ago. I promised a post about it. Not going to happen. I'd recommend it - it's delightful and full of Canada and intriguing and well-told. Parts of it were a little slow-going. It's no Catcher in the Rye. (Yes, that was an unfair comparison.)

A few days ago one of the most wonderful men I know (who happens to be an honorary assitant here at St. Margaret's) left a book called Take This Bread by Sara Miles on my desk. We'd talked about it before, mostly because he was enjoying it so thoroghly. I was pretty touched that he thought I'd like it to.

I just finished it. It's subversive, compelling and incredibly well-told. It's basically a memoir of a woman who comes to convert to Christianity late in her life through Communion. I found some of her descriptions of the sacrament absolutely breathtaking and profoundly inspiring. However, at other times I found some of her ideas to be a little repulsive (eek! sorry) to be perfectly honest. But then, I imagine that's the point or at least the consequence of revolutionary thinking. Anyway, it's worth a read. (I just realized that one of the things that bugs me is that it says "the memoir of a twenty-first-century Christian" on the cover. As though if you're not a liberal-social-justice-minded Episcopalian you're living in the fifteenth century or something. Just bugs me, is all. Still worth a read.)

As far as what I'm looking forward to reading?? I still haven't had a night alone and a bottle of wine to start/finish The Magician's Elephant by Kate diCamillo. I'm looking forward to doing just that on a beautiful screened in balcony in the coming days. Also, I was noticing the other day how many books my parents have that I'd like to scooby and read over the next month. At the top of the list: Positively Fourth Street by David Hajdu. I heard it's fantastic.

4. delighting in a compadre

Spiro came out for a visit. A surprise visit. It was great. One of the funniest things, though, was that the day she arrived she kept asking me if it was ok that she surprised me. Now, it's definitely possible that if she'd have come out a week earlier I would have had a little break-down but that would've really only had to do with how choked I'd have been that I had to write a paper while my friend was out. And then, once Spiro was here, some of my other friends were asking me the same kind of questions ("are you OK after being surprised with a visit?"). Well kiddies, I'm here to tell you that I love being surprised and I rarely am. Mostly because I'm sneaky and I figure things out. But if ever you feel like showing up in Winnipeg, just try to find out if I have a paper due and then I'm all yours.

ANYway...the visit was stellar. Caleb and I were house sitting so we had tons of space, a backyard and a dog to play with. Spiro and I pretended we were on SNL for most of the week. We camped with Caleb's family. We walked the dog. We drank wine. We talked (and not-talked...for hours...). We sat near one another. We danced.

I took some new pictures of her. I just don't have them.

Up next: the rest. Yes.

5. strolling about

i used to walk all over the place - both for pleasure's sake and out of necessity. for one thing, I lived farther away from school, work, & church than I do now. For another, I feel like I walk faster than Winnipeg transit. (ouch).

I've missed walking all over the place. It's funny how once the element of necessity is gone it actually becomes more difficult to find time to do. Anyhow, now I get up early and roam the streets of Winnipeg alone (but sometimes Caleb comes...but we still feel alone) for a couple hours and eventually find myself at work. It's enchanting. Except for the joggers. They make me want to trip people.

Well, I feel like that might be enough. Until next time...

oooohhhh....

2010-05-11T13:08:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago I had a very thrilling conversation with a very dear friend. This friend is also an avid blogger. While "blogging" was not one of the many topics up for discussion there was a moment when blogs came up, in particular my very ill-used one, and for a moment I understood, or at least I think I did. The epiphany went something like "ooohhh...so, some people might actually care, or at the very least be interested, in what's happening in my life and it would be easiest for them to find said information out if I would simply update my blog. I get it."

This, I believe for the moment, I can do.

So, what's been happening since the last time Good Rocky had a taste of Revival? (i.e. what's happened since 23 November, 2009?) Leet meee tell you...

1. Christmas. Oh my so very favourite time of year. It is absolutely my favourite liturgical season. (whenever I say or type that I immediately feel guilty...as if the bells and lights of Holy Saturday are peering over my shoulder whispering "tsk, tsk, tsk...you should really like Easter more," they say.) The thing is, I do love Easter. I get sucked right into that drama and can hardly find myself once I'm in it. But I kind of love it in a different way. I experience Lent pretty intensely; in the same way, I weep on Maundy Thursday, I stand in shock on Good Friday, I exult and dance and choke myself with joy on Holy Saturday and Easter Sunday, but man, do I ever come alive at Christmas.

The thing is, Advent & Christmas is, (I'm having the guilt again) enchanting in a different way than Easter. The long waiting through Advent is so punctuated by excitement and the imaginative potential of Christmas Eve and Christmas morning seem limitless. This year, on Good Friday, the sky was dark and it rained all day, as if nature herself were participating in the drama and worship. In the same way all seems mystically united when it snows at midnight on Christmas Eve while the bread is broken and the cup is served. Also, I could sing carols forever. Also, I could listen to Sufjan's Christmas album forever.

2. (oh my, this is getting long) Caleb and I celebrated our 1 year anniversary in February. Both the anniversary itself and the year were fantastic. I'd been telling Caleb before we got married that I was anticipating that we'd have a pretty difficult first year. I have been proven wrong. It's been great. top 5 words to describe it? Laughter, wine, friends, Winnipeg...hmmm...there's something else...I just can't put my finger on it...

3. Holy Week. Holy Week extends from Palm Sunday morning to Easter Sunday evening, and culminates in The Great Triduum (The Great Three Days) from sundown on Maundy Thursday to sundown on Easter Sunday. I'm not sure, though I made a small attempt above, I can adequately describe how I feel and what I love about Holy Week. This year, like last, orchestrating the many services at St. Margaret's became my life for the few weeks preceding Holy Week and obviously during. The liturgies are breathtaking, the preaching this year was phenomenal (I didn't do much which probably helped) and to experience it all as a whole simply seems to be part of me - part of my fabric. I can't not be at church that week.

This need of mine (to wish I could live at the church during this time) does certainly have its problems though...for one thing, it's difficult to try to describe to one's family (particularly after another is added) how and why I have little time for anything else, including family gatherings. Friends usually seem to understand a little better, though I still often enough feel lonely and alien as I encounter friends who don't seem to understand how much a part of who I am is wrapped up in church and consequently I spend all my time here. Nevertheless, as the candles are lit, the bells are rung and the lights turned on at Midnight during the Great Easter Vigil, all my anxiety of being a bad friend, sister, daughter, wife is penetrated by the insurmountable mystery at foot and all is well.

4. School. Blech. Exams were nuts. I wrote 3 in one week, and immediately following the last one Caleb and I left town to attend a St. Margaret's Vestry retreat (which was great). I have 1 more course left to do. Finally.

5. Work. Always great. Never without challenge, particularly the feeling that I could always do more and could certainly do everything better. I love it though, I wouldn't want to do anything else. At the moment I'm busy preparing for an ordination service that's happening at St. Margaret's (which is unusual, usually ordinations are done at the cathedral) as well as a Missions Weekend (which we're not supposed to call a "missions weekend") focused on personal evangelism. Both very exciting and challenging projects.

6. Family. Caleb and I became an Uncle and an Aunt to two veeerrrry cute young boys. Both of Caleb's older siblings each had their first child in the last year.

Troy & Connor. They are stinking cute. I get choked up with excitement when I start to imagine them walking and talking. So long have I been waiting for an excuse to (re-)visit Tinker-Town.

We head to Winkler about once a month and hang out with Bill and Heath and Pete & Marilyn and love every minute. We are lucky. (Said the girl who was listening to two drunken lovers scream at each other outside her living room window.)

7. Rest. I went through a pretty serious spurt of reading children's literature. In particular the works of Kate DiCamillo. I haven't read them all but I highly recommend The Tale of Despereaux (for those looking for a delightful story, beautifully told in terms of light and dark.) I also read The Wind in the Willows for the first time since I was 7. Better than I remember it. Currently I'm reading a book called Nikolski. It's on the Canada Reads list. It's pretty great. Blog post dedicated to it coming soon.

Otherwise, I've been trying to learn how to stay at home on occasion and really rest. (I've felt on the edge of burn-out a couple times this year, so this skill is something of a necessity.) Also, Caleb and I have taken to watching the playoffs while playing Scrabble. (I've been kicking his butt, too.)

Ok. That's that. I think I can do this more frequently, particularly since I left out #8: Dreaming. Next time...

2010-02-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

feeling S.M.R.T.

2009-11-18T16:59:00.000-08:00

1. Today I was walking home thinking, "hey, i know how to tell my house keys that look identical apart (one is for the building front door, one for the apartment front door) - one of them is "facing in" (that is, the teeth face "in") and the other is "facing out"!" Problem solved I thought. SO, i came home later and was working furiously to get my front door key (the one facing in) to open the $#*%(#^ door for oooh...a solid 3 minutes. "But it's facing IN" I thought furiously to myself, glancing over my shoulder at the wino sitting on the curb watching me. "Great, they changed the #@%^ locks. Perfect." Nearly defeated, well actually entirely defeated, I tried the 'wrong' key. . . . as it turns out, the way that one's keys "face" depends on the way in which one is holding their key ring. awesome.

2. The cat was acting like an orangotan and tearing around the apartment (which includes jumping up one's leg, and also jumping onto one's ass to do a little cliff hanging). "Oh, he needs water. Great. I'll fill up his water dish in the kitchen and carry it, full to the brim, into his little cat room. (instead of bringing the pitcher to the room to fill up the dish)," I thought.

Tip: Full dish of water + cat's claws dug into your ass = full glass of cold water dumped onto your head and face and everything around you.

3. After drying off, I thought I should light some incense. "Strange. This incense doesn't seem to be lighting. I'll just keep trying"... unless they make 'burning stick' scented incense, i lit the wrong end. cl-ass-ic.

aaaand that's just the last 20 minutes of my life.

whoops...

2009-11-18T14:33:00.000-08:00

Today I accidentally said a bad word (it wasn't the worst bad word...it rhymes with pit.

it was shit.) at a staff meeting and we had a visitor sitting in...so...

it's that time again...

2009-08-26T18:56:00.001-07:00

Here are the movies I cannot WAIT to see this fall...

Let's start with the obvious:

Where the Wild Things Are

(be still my childish little heart...i'm already crying...also, let's play a game called "how many blogs is this image on?" I'm betting upwards of 10 thousand...blogs that I know of.)

FAME

(I'm gonna live forever...Jody and I spent an hour a day watching Fame for about a year. I am going to NOT see it until she gets back from Zambia and I caaannnotttt WAIT.)

Art & Copy

looks good...might take Don...and it's already in theatres

Taking Woodstock

new Almost Famous? not a chance. but still good.

New York, I love you

A new Paris, J'Taime? Likely.

I'm sure there's more, but I'm boring myself with all this enthusiasm. So here are the movies I will NOT be seeing this summer/fall:

Legion (gross)

Saw VI (SO gross)

St. Trinians (but I'm pretty sure if I still lived with Ms. Kristina Janzen I'd try really hard to convince her to see it with me...oohhh boy I miss the good old days. And HOW did Colin Firth end up in that? Yowza. )

Ponyo (Disney, Disney, Disney...where did you go wrong?)

a bip and a bop and a bibbideedee

2009-04-27T10:27:00.001-07:00

Caleb informed me the other day that he and his friend Geoff rap while they're driving in the car. This tidbit of information has turned into a bonnie-and-caleb-rap-extravaganza...WHICH hit its high note last night following the evening service at St. Margaret's...

here are my favourite selections (ps. I'm at work right now, on a 'lunch-break' (without lunch) and I thiiiink I just heard someone let out a major toot downstairs...oooh church work...it doesn't get better.)

alright, back to the rap...

C: "here we are just hangin' in the kitchen"
B: "just gonna do a little bit of itchin'" (followed by some (much needed) wedgie removal and arm-pit scratching)

C: "here we are just hangin' in the study"
B:"looks like I've got a brand new buddy..."
C: "look at these books I'm gonna read"
Bonnie comes up blank
C: "read, read, read, read....I know how to fill time."
.................... ....... .. ..........

Bonnie: Hey, we should do a rappin children's sermon..
Caleb: "welcome to church all you..."
Bonnie: "Welcome to church all you sinners, I hope you didn't eat too much dinner,
'cause you'll get all chubby and round and weak
Caleb: "and then you'll know the meaning of meek"

...not theologically correct. BUT cut-ting-edge.

Summer Reading (thank goodness)

2009-04-20T00:43:00.000-07:00

Well. It's 2:43 and I'm working on a paper due in a few short hours. No better time than to come up with some words for Good Rocky. But in actual fact, tonight marks a particularly special occasion (as though procrastination weren't enough) because I've finally figured out a practical use for this blog...

Summer Reading List (I feel like if I publish my intentions, I might actually get around to them instead of relying on the old rolling stone to get me through...)

"Black Lamb and Grey Falcon" by Rebecca West.
Apparently the (not a) greatest book written in the twentieth century. David's mentioned it in about 4 consecutive (and brilliant) sermons and Kirsten is reading it right now. Let's just say: I'm a kool-aid drinker. But also it sounds fantastic.

"Blink" by Malcolm Gladwell
My parents gave it to me for my birthday and one of their good friends (and trusted critic) has read it twice now and really enjoyed it. It's a bestseller which I usually steer clear of (it's just the romantic in me, I like old things) but I've read the first chapter and so far so good. Well done newbie, you made the list.

"Letter to a Priest" by Simone Weil
I realized today I've never read it.

"A Severe Mercy" by Sheldon Vanauken
One of the best women I know gave this to me, I can't wait to get into it. It looks spectacular.

"Descent into Hell" or "War in Heaven" by Charles Williams
More kool-aid drinking? Sort of. But mostly I just think he's brilliant. Even if he doesn't know how to use a comma.

"Church Dogmatics" by Karl Barth
Kidding. I read them on a need-to-preach basis.

That's all I can think of right now. I think I may also need to make a summer writing list.

Anyhow, one for the fall:

Dante's "Divine Comedy" but I'm awaiting the return of my guide.

more fun with bon & cal

2009-04-02T07:30:00.000-07:00

(bonnie & caleb are sitting on the bed, after a night of precious little sleep, and it's still before breakfast...)

Bonnie: (whining about how bad this presentation is..) "I am boring myself to death. I can't believe I'm going to do this. I would rather stick a fork up my bum."

Caleb: "..which end?"

fun with bon & cal

2009-04-01T13:37:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I realized that when I get asked "so, how's married life?" I feel a little like a squirrel shitting pine-cones: not quite sure what to do. Today I realized that I have an answer. For Caleb and I, married life has so far been things like this:

Bonnie: "you know when places have those big hand drying towels in the bathroom that go around in a loop?"

Caleb: "yea"

Bonnie: "I always feel like I'm drying my hands on some guys underpants."

Caleb: "...well..you might be."

.......... ........... ........... .. . . .

(Bonnie & Caleb are trying to cross a busy street...on foot)

Bonnie: "whoa, I really double clutched it there."

Caleb rolls his eyes: "yes you did..do you think you're going to make it?"

Bonnie: "Hey, if I'm an idiot and you married me, what does that make you?"

........ ........ . . . ...... . .. .
(bonnie & Caleb are walking to the grocery store, arm in arm)

Bonnie: (finishes pretending to be blind) "hey, wait, I'm going to pretend to be more things." (followed by staring straight ahead and not saying anything...that is, pretending to be deaf.)

Caleb: "I'm going to *#(@! and *#*% into @*(&#@ "

Bonnie: "Are you pretending to have Tourette Syndrome?"

Caleb: "No, I'm pretending you're deaf."

2009-03-07T20:19:00.001-08:00

"T-mobile dance" youtube. best thing I've seen in months.

happiness is a warm gun...

2009-01-01T12:12:00.000-08:00

The Truth: I've spent the last 2 months trying to figure out my password for blogger. (no over-zealous attempts obviously.) Then I forgot my blog address for a while. Finally I realized it's the same password as my gmail account (incredibly obvious I realize now..like I said, not overly zealous) and I am back baby.

The Current Situation: I should be cleaning the church. I'm working on it. I actually really love cleaning the church. I just bring the old ipod and sing in the sanctuary and sweep and mop. There's something blissfully monastic about it (save the ipod), and it's a wonderful change from answering phones full of questions I don't know the answers to. Mops never ask you anything.

And we're into 2009. Shnikes. This also means that Caleb and I will be wed in 38 days. And everytime I think I about it that old panic attack rears its sharp little head. It's a good kind of panic. There's life in it, that is. Caleb & I are having a good time in marriage prep, we feel a little like the whole church has taken us on, or welcomed us in, or something. It's good though. There's one couple in particular that seems to deeply share our ambition to use the time preparing for marriage as a way to plough into the Church's marriage rite, to feed and water the leviathon of commitment that it pertains to. To leave behind us any assumption that this is primarily about why Caleb and I think we ought to be married and instead be taken into the Truth that the Marriage Rite doesn't care what we think, that it is much greater, much more mysterious, and full of richness.

And we're driving everyone around us nuts with our collective apathy toward this wedding. But we recently discovered we aren't alone...

We were given this FANTASTIC book by an Episcopalian minister, and I think it must've been written in the late 1950's. oh nope, I just looked, 1965. Anyhow, it's wonderful. We decided to read it out loud to one another (which is something we used to do all the time and stopped for some reason, but I think it's one of my very favourite things to do together.)

Anyhow, he writes early on about doing marriage prep with young couples, where he's talking marriage and they're talking wedding. He writes
"I tell them that the average wedding is a kind of irrelevant fling with no connections before or after - a preoccupation with the details of thirty minutes at the expense of the commitments of a lifetime."

So far, it's one of my favourite lines. Oh I've got so much more to write on the topic, and I'm feeling inspired which may mean I'll keep at it.

For now, the mop and broom are calling me, and the sanctuary needs a song to fill it.

2008-10-03T08:27:00.000-07:00

Steve walks warily down the street,
With the brim pulled way down low
Ain't no sound but the sound of his feet,
Machine guns ready to go
Are you ready, Are you ready for this
Are you hanging on the edge of your seat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat
Chorus

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
And another one gone, and another one gone
Another one bites the dust
Hey, I'm gonna get you too
Another one bites the dust

How do you think I'm going to get along,
Without you, when you're gone
You took me for everything that I had,
And kicked me out on my own

Are you happy, are you satisfied
How long can you stand the heat
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
To the sound of the beat
Chorus

Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
Another one bites the dust
There are plenty of ways you can hurt a man
And bring him to the ground
You can beat him
You can cheat him
You can treat him bad and leave him
When he's down
But I'm ready, yes I'm ready for you
I'm standing on my own two feet
Out of the doorway the bullets rip
Repeating the sound of the beat

a few of my favourite things...

2008-07-12T22:34:00.000-07:00

OOOOOOK FOLKS.

One of my favourite things IN the WORLD is America's Funniest Home Videos. One of my second favourite things in the world is news reporter blooper reel videos on youtube. After the "I'm alot more like Creed.." post and the mention of Caleb's FANTASTIC impression of the reporter tweaking out, I thought I should post a couple of the absolute cream of the crop.
This one KILLS me. Especially the slo-mo.

And this one is gross but it makes me laugh when he freaks out. I'm a little embarassed about it.

and THIS my friends, has been known to get me going for a solid 20 minutes of laughing ridiculously hard. And Caleb's impression is impeccable.

I'll keep the youtube suggestions coming. But just for old time's sake...

sooooo CLASSIC. it kills me.

juuust a thought

2008-07-12T22:17:00.001-07:00

Today someone asked me who some of my favourite artists were. (This, my friends, is probably my favourite question to be asked. And I never feel like I have an answer. But only when I don't feel like someone's about to assess me. Nevertheless, my heart flutters and my mind dances at the opportunity. Tonight it was asked just right.)

I said, "contemporary artists?" "Sure."

hmmm.

You know who came to mind? One of Spiro's friends. And it kills me to say it, but I forget her name. (It really kills me...I mean, I could probably tell you the names of most of Sharelle's church friends as well as who they are currently engaged to or dating.) Anyhow, this girl's paintings are wonderful, and I hope if she reads my further description of it she isn't offended. It reminds me alot of Warhol's commercial art. I wish I could include some of her prints. There's one of a ballerina and a swan that kills me. It's the kind of painting wherein simple subjects are not only validated but enchantment ensues from them.

In paritcular, Warhol made this one print called the Whimsical Calf that I really love, but I couldn't find a copy of it. I did find this shoe though...

all this to say, I like to be asked the question. And I'm going to go watch Amelie.

2008-06-17T21:16:00.000-07:00

I'm alot more like Creed (The Office USA) than you'd think. For one thing, you know how I'm always wondering about why I have a blog? The reality is, I write blog posts all the time. I just write them in a TextEdit document called "blog". [The entirety of the following post, and the paragraph just read, is the "blog" document copied and pasted. All from today.]

why is everyone walking around like they've got scoliosis these days?

I just tried to type "scoliosis" and textedit thought it was spelt incorrectly. The spell check suggestion? "schoolhouses"...helpful. Why is everyone walking around like they've got schoolhouses?

Why do preganant women wear tight white pants? It's just not a good look for anyone, ok?

why do people (including myself) make a yawning face when they feel awkward. but they aren't really yawning. Do you ever notice that? I think it's because we all feel a little less stupid if we can try to convince someone we aren't REALLY that stupid, we're just tired. I was talking to my dad about how he has so much respect for people that work with mentally challenged persons. He was talking to his buddy who did it for alot of years who said that the most difficult part isn't dealing with people that have actual mental disabilities (or different abilities, I think is the more PC way to talk about it) but it's when you have to get back out into the real world and deal with people that, for all intensive purposes, should be able to think and operate on their own and they are STILL idiots. pretty good point I think.

I bet people drink twice as much foamed milk than they do normal milk.

I like seeing a big man walk into starbucks. He's got the old white walls hair do. He's wearing a gold watch, and it's glowing atop his skin so baked in the sun. His hands are rough and sturdy. He's got steel toe boots on. His navy t-shirt is tucked into his jeans. His mustache and shades all skin so darkened by the unforgiving sun all say the same thing: This man works. He doesn't look sheepish like so many other men that wander guiltily into a Starbucks alone in the middle of the day to satisfy that guilty pleasure, but then chicken out when they get to the barista (probably because the person is called a barista) and order the biggest, darkest coffee you can think of, with an extra shot of espresso. Not this man. He's sure. He knows exactly what he wants. "Tall strawberries and cream frappiccino, extra whip cream." And he doesn't even say please. This guy is my hero.

I should write down things I love:
-laughing with strangers.
-black pens and white, blank paper
-breaking glass
-watching excited dogs look around
-imagining what Gary Larson would say about something.

maybe I should write little posts about people that are pretty important to me these days. Liiike Jody...

recent quotes:
"what are we going to do?" (in 'yoda' voice)
(after discussing her hatred for touching wet paper and being asked about paper cups...)"i mean, I don't love a dixie..."

I rescued a lady from some canker worms yesterday. Pretty much, I'm a hero because she was tweaking out.

I should tell Caleb that I no longer even have the impulse to make eyes and flirt across the room anymore. Amazing, because I used to be pretty unstoppable.

Caleb told me the other day about this article he read about Lu Lu Lemon and why their sweat pants and leggings are so popular and it's because they are constructed to make women's asses look really good. And they do this by spreading your ass cheeks apart eeever so slightly. I already wasn't a huge fan be we are now into full on disapproval and creepi-ness. We are buying pants to spread our ass cheeks apart? Does that seem counter-intuitive to anyone else?

IS NOTHING SACRED ANYMORE? CAN'T A WOMAN JUST SPORT HER SQUISHED AND FUNNY BUM ANY LONGER? Why the hell would you wear gitch? Oh wait you probably just sport the thong under there which is another whole MESS of counter-intuitive problems for me. Don't even get me started on thongs. I just don't get it. I spend so much of my day trying to get the gitch unwedged from my ass I can't understand why you would purposefully ram something up there. I guess this is where Lu Lu lemon pants could save my life: if i've got my left cheek spread half way around my waist, I guess there's no more opportunity for wedgies...

Caleb does the best impression of that news reporter going nuts over that lizard jumping on him. That video is probably the best thing I've ever seen on youtube. Caleb makes me laugh really, really hard. But the thing is, so do i.

[there you go. edit-free and a touch of chaos. It's the best I can do for now. Or at least the best I care to do. I thought the pictures were pretty good though.]

2008-06-09T21:30:00.001-07:00

WHY DO I HAVE A BLOG?

Inspired by Spi...

2008-05-21T23:07:00.001-07:00

No Really, I need to polish up this paper. But then I doddled around on Spiro's blog, who led me to Brie's blog, which lead me to a link to this quiz, which lead me to try to score as highly as "Barth" as I could. Didn't quite make it. But close.

Funny, though, that as I struggle to make a fricking ounce of reasonable sense out of Anselm, according to the genius minds at quizfarm.com, we may be kindred after all.

Which theologian are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Anselm

Anselm is the outstanding theologian of the medieval period.He sees man's primary problem as having failed to render unto God what we owe him, so God becomes man in Christ and gives God what he is due. You should read 'Cur Deus Homo?'

Anselm

93%

Martin Luther

73%

Karl Barth

67%

Friedrich Schleiermacher

60%

Augustine

47%

John Calvin

47%

Charles Finney

33%

Jürgen Moltmann

33%

Paul Tillich

27%

Jonathan Edwards

13%

and you think you're smart...

2008-05-21T22:48:00.001-07:00

I have no time for this. As the hours pass I'm becoming increasinly obsessed with this paper I'm trying to make sense of and make sure it makes (some semblance) of sense.

However, if you'll notice, the post below has received a few comments in way of its apparent goodness by a few women whom I am especially flattered by. And here's my question to them: Why (on earth) did you like it?

Take care kids, I am off to enjoy the charity of the night.

POP QUIZ: Can you identify the Canadian musician(s) whose lyrics I scoobied in the above rambling?

2008-05-16T21:36:00.001-07:00

So, the long weekend. in winkler. the looooong weeeekend.

Let me bring you up to speed:
6:00pm. Bonnie arrives at home.

6:35 pm. Bill, Heath and I decided on Chinese food for dinner.

6:36pm. We begin arguing menu choices. Mostly Bill & Heath argue about how many items we ought to order. Guess who won.

6:45pm. Everyone gets into a nicely heated debate regarding the American presidential candidates.
Bill: "Finds Clinton a little shrill, and is pretty sure Obama will be able to get more accomplished in foreign policy"
Bonnie: "Finds it curious that 'shrill' is becoming synonymous with 'irritating' and not with 'professionalism', 'dignified', or 'intelligent' and is sure Obama's going to win (on account of charisma - not a historically unique incident in the states) but thinks Clinton is the better choice."
Heather: "thinks they're all nuts."*

6:47pm Bill lands arse over tea-kettle at the bottom of the stairs in a huge pool of water.

6:48pm. Bill confirms that the water heater (or something) is leaking.

6:49pm. I begin praying to Jesus that Heath is not going to die in 3 seconds as she plugs in a shop vac which has just been sitting in water for an hour.

6:50 pm. Bill and Heath continue to turn the air blue as they rip up flooring, rescue hockey equipment, vaccuum up water and try not to break their necks. Bonnie remains upstairs, still praying.

...as always, there's more to tell. But quite frankly, if you've never met Heath, I'm not sure you could possibly understand. I'll try to explain it in the morning. Let's just say, it may have been discovered that on more than one occassion Heath has worn mis-matched shoes to work. Spec-tacular.

*she had more to say but this is the gist.

2008-04-16T23:06:00.001-07:00

Some problems:

19th c. art exam tomorrow morning: not prepared.
Sharelle was out, now she's gone: she is missed. Furiously.
A bunch of reading to do: no time.
Dry skin: irritating. (pun very intended, wait, is that a pun?)
Too tired to recognize a pun: not a good sign.
A painfully patient beau: not a problem but i thought he should get a shout out as I'm about to call him and it's 1:08 am.
The bug on the floor: really gross.
Feeling of failure: check.
Maintaining distraction: always the problem.

Some good news:

only 8 more hours of studying to go.
Great reading to do once I'm done.
there is laughter looming, there always is

if there was ever a day to call "shitty"...

2008-04-10T19:27:00.000-07:00

The events:

1. I walked into the blunt end of a bus stop.

2. I smoked an old guy in the mouth/face.

3. I dipped my foot into a toilet full of pee.

4. I wrote my Latin exam.

5. I wrote my Art History and Exhibition Practice Exam.

The stories:

1. As I was walking down Memorial Avenue, (keeping in mind that after all the walking I've done this year to and from school, my speed is something to marvel at), and pretty absorbed in some Latin flashcards out of NOWHERE comes this (empty, thaaank goodness) bus shelter...let's just call that the face smack that shook the province. We are talking bruised.

2. Having recovered from the face-plant-on-glass incident, I made my way to the depths of the U of W library to continue studying. I was all alone in a nice, warm little corner. However, these old guys are preeetty sneaky and silent for as I swung my arms out behind me in triumph (of mastering a deponant synopsis) I caught one (old guy) in the mouth and definitely took his head with me for a stretch. I may have interrupted his thought process.

3. My hand now bitten and smashed, I headed to the bathroom for a much needed pee. After doing so, using my foot to flush the toilet I air-balled the shot and dipped my shoe right into the pee. By the grace of God, I was not wearing flip-flops.

4. I don't really want to talk about it. Let's just say: I translated 6 pretty large (and complex) passages from the textbook that the prof said one of which would be on the exam. Apparantly she also said that one of the stories from our secondary text may also be on the exam. Guess which one she picked.

5. I really don't want to talk about it. I finished it 40 minutes ago and I don't remember a thing.

Good night kids, it's nice to be back.

bonnie, because she won't...

2008-04-03T12:35:00.000-07:00

top fives...

5 things you can't live without under 5 dollars:
1) pen
2) paper
3) cool treats
4) coffee
5) chapstick

5 favorite movies:
1) Almost Famous
2) High Fidelity
3) Waiting For Guffman
4) Wayne's World
5) The Royal Tennenbaums

5 Songs I could listen to over and over again (and do):
1) Happiness is a Warm Gun - The Beatles
2) Elton John - Tiny Dancer
3) Tinfoil Hats- Rocky Votolato
4) Hat Shaped Hat - Ani Difranco
5) Seventeen - Ratatat

5 People who have had a positive influence in your life: (besides friends and family)
1) David Widdicombe
2) William Blake
3) St. Theresa of Avila
4) Rowan Williams
5) Nick Hornby

5 moments that changed your life forever
1) The day I hung out in a water closet with 4 other young women. fall, 2003.
2) September, 1996. The first time I listened to all of Revolver.
3) (the moment I heard) David Widdicombe's sermon on Genesis 2
4) the day I was greeted by Mystery.
5) most of the other significant "moments" in my life have alot to do with laughing. and I can't pull them apart.

5 current obsessions:
1) Latin
2) finding time to read books that aren't obligatory
3) [such as] "The Long Loneliness" Dorothy Day
4) fruit
5) jeopardy

5 places I would like to go (in order of reality)
1) The West Coast (Seattle, White Rock, Victoria)
2) Pheonix
3) Madrid
4) Amsterdam
5) Moscow

5 peeps that should also do this:
1) i really do not care
2)
3)
4)
5)

i don't like being jostled...

2008-03-01T22:56:00.001-08:00

So, I have this friend.

She's got a really great blog (I was going to make a link but the only people that read this blog probably read hers first and either used the link to Good Rocky). She's sitting next to me now. Her name is Spiro. (She's keeping it Riel and staying in Winnipeg for a few days.) One of the first conversations we had was:

Spiro: "Hey, you said you were going to blog more."

Bonnie: "yea. I did."

Mind-blowing.

So, I do feel a touch obligated. I don't know why this is such a self-conscious endeavor for me. Nothing really seems relevant or pertinent enough to fill a page with it. But then, no offense, but lots of stuff people put on their blogs is kind of...less than urgent. For example...this blog.
(just kidding).

Therefore, in the name of contribution for the sake of contribution: I'll keep trying to let myself go.

Tonight was the art opening for Mennofolk 2008. IT was fantastic. Code Name: The Sharks! stole the show. Tomorrow night we're going to kick it at the West End. Hope to see you there, I'll try to fill you in if you can't make it.

nothing else to say...

2008-02-24T16:16:00.000-08:00

check it out.

best thing i've seen in a while. be sure to watch the making of.

So...do you like stuff?...

2008-02-02T22:22:00.000-08:00

well, this seems silly.

but the other day I got to thinking*, "I really love some of my friends' blogs. I love that they're contributing." And then later that night I thought "I wish there were a place I could go just to communicate for the sake of communicating." Is this blog worthy? Not really. Is this a self-conscious post? Absolutely.**

So, here it is. I'm not promising genius, and I'm certainly not promising consistency. And for the life of me I can't remember what I wanted to blog about the other day. But I think I hope that this might become a space I really care about. In all likelihood its archives will soon change from casual, uncomfortable and awkward ideas to rants about the (North American?) post-secondary education system, stories of the strange people I meet on my walks home, and more rants about babies.

Anyhow, here's hoping. OH and I thought of a question that ought to be asked: what's the greatest compliment you've ever received?

Once a very dear, very stunning woman told me that I was her church. And then I got blown over by the wind.

*this is a phrase I think ought to be used more often.***
**A term that ought to be used more often.

***there should also be more footnotes in the world.

oohhh boy

2007-12-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

well.

i have to draw up an exhibition proposal. a hypothetical exhibition proposal. the thing is, I really, really like the work of one of the artist's I've chosen and I'd love to see an exhibition along these lines come into fruition.

So, here it is, masculinity in art.

And that's all I've got so far. Apparantly I have a knack this year for selecting topics far too complex for the time I have.

So, without getting into the slough of questions the theme raises, I'd just like to ask one: what is masculinity?

and now, latinus me vocat.

latin is calling me.

oook

2007-10-17T16:25:00.001-07:00

i just needed to make sure everyone was loving Jose Gonzalez's cover of "Teardrop" as much as I am.

i might even be peeing right now...

And aaron: i should not have enrolled in intro philosophy with you out of the country. At some point, I'm going to have to send you a leeeeeengthy email...

2007-10-12T12:43:00.001-07:00

talk about overdue.

following suit...

2007-08-07T14:15:00.000-07:00

Inspired by (and poached from) Spiro, I thought I'd send out a little update, mostly because I am not suzy-q-on-top-of-it and subscribe more often to the envisioned rather than the actualized reply to various 'update' emails from friends and family and the like...

So, here we are, top 10 things I've been up to:

Jeopardy
bonnie & mead weekdays at 4:30. Game on.

Reading
Picks for Summer'07: Moby Dick by Herman Melville(x2); The Humanity of God by Karl Barth; Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows (shut up you pbf's) by J.K. Rowling (sttiiiillll working on it.) & a few Orthodox church essays on gender and sexuality.

Gardening
I know alot about weeds now. My Green Team Partner (Liz) and I garden for St. Margaret's and a few senior citizens that live in the area.

Kid's Camp-ing
Liz & I planned and ran a children's day camp out of St. Margaret's the second week in July. Hectic. & Fantastic.

Weddings
It wouldn't be a summer without them. Attended 3 so far (joyfully), skipped 2 (pitifully), missing 1 (sadly), 2 still to come (shitting-my-pants-edly).

Scrabble
Caleb & I have probably squeezed in upwards of 30 games this summer. Life is good. I get my ass handed to me every time. Best word yet: "Quite"...tripple letter score on the Q...no big deal.

Studying/Writing/Reading/Screaming & crying
I finally finished the second half of Public Admin:Macro on July 25th. I started the course, along with one other 6 credit hour job at the beginning of May. Let's just say: if there's a hell, it probably looks alot like UofW in June.

Anglican-ising
I've just continued to fall madly in love with St. Margaret's parish and the Anglican Communion worldwide. I'd sleep there if they let me.

Walking
still no car, still no problem.

Writing
let's just say, there's going to be another bonfire at the one-twenty-one.

Shout-outs: Franklin, Zadie and Jody: my favourite roommates.

2007-07-25T17:49:00.000-07:00

is there a resistance?

ah, growing up...

2007-07-17T08:44:00.000-07:00

I just finished leading a children's day camp. At the end of the first day, an 8 year old girl looked up at me from her colouring and said "Whoa, this is freaky."
"What is?" I said.
"Well, you're here alone? You're in charge?"
"Yep."
"You're like 22 and you're a punk, how can you be the boss?"
Good fricking question.

A pretty brilliant and cherished friend of mine just put an offer in on a condo. Holy shnikes, I don't want to grow up.
We were talking late into the night (through a possessed phone line and some pretty spastic accidental hangups) and the "3 M's" came up: Marriage, Mortgage and Motherhood.

Oh gross. slash - ohhhh funny. We've even got a (sort of) alliteration for life in general. Fantastic.

Our alternative? The 3 R's: Rent, Regret and Rest.

ah, bliss.

and yes, I spelled out "/".

ok ok ok...

2007-05-30T18:25:00.000-07:00

yes, yes, yes, I know, I know, I've been tagged. Spiro - believe me, I think about it all the time. So far, I'm having a hard time not just copying everyone on your list...with the exception of Teek. Anyhow, I trust that given another drive to Winkler I should have it all figured out.

In the meantime, I was walking to my new house last night, in the rain, over rivers, and I started making this list. Today I found myself telling two people about it today, two pretty important people, which means: potentially blog worthy. So, let's see how this pans out, shall we?

10 Things I wish I could Do:
1. I wish I could play & sing the blues like Bonnie Raitt. (
2. I wish I could Highland Dance. (Micheal Flatley: you are a god)
3. You know that scene in Empire records when Mark dusts that ballerina's foot because she's kind of dancing with the headphones on? I wish I could bust moves like that out as I'm walking down the street. No huge dance numbers or anything, juuust enough to give people something to talk about once they get home.
4. I wish I could run without looking like I just crapped my pants
5. I wish I could weld. (I would make such cool shit it'd be scary)
6. I wish I could understand greek. (No no no, not learn greek, just understand greek.)
7. I wish I could play hockey. (without holding onto a chair on the ice)
8. I wish I could say more things like "who's having a hairy canary over there?" (jody you KILL me)
9. I wish I could be perfect pitch pam.
10. I wish I could follow Andrew Derkson around with a video camera.

haven't puked in a while?...

2007-05-10T20:38:00.000-07:00

let me help you out...

storied weapons...

2007-04-26T17:49:00.000-07:00

"For all his tattooings he was on the whole a clean, comely looking cannibal. What's all this fuss I have been making about, thought I to myself -- the man's a human being just as I am: he has just as much reason to fear me, as I have to be afraid of him. Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian."

-Herman Melville, Moby Dick

things that remind me...

2007-04-13T13:19:00.000-07:00

of Jamie Spiro

clouds plaid jackets
ipods

the muppets

jane gallagher

Reading Deitrich Bonheoffer

being awake at 3am
tennis shoes
SLR cameras

vines without leaves
brick walls

driftwood
puddles and kids in rainboots
pigeons
laughing really, really, really hard

used books & coffee

old hymns
talking about heaven

the drumming in "Magazine" by Pedro the Lion

& all things beautiful

"Being alive is a crock of shit"...

2007-04-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

Well. So it goes. Kurt Vonnegut died today at 84. It got me thinking, it's not that I've been expecting a new (and brilliant) novel anytime soon, but I do think I'm going to miss him. The question becomes: how do you miss someone you've never met?

I have this tendency to find an author I love and read as much of what they've written as I possibly could. It seems to me that I do so (and Sharelle, hear me out) because I find in reading multiple works by the same author that the most valuable aspect is that I get to know the author as a person. I identify with them. I indentify with Nick Hornby, with C.S. Lewis, with J.D. Salinger. Look at the love exhibited by Hemingway fans - a love for both the texts and the drama of the man. It's kind of like that for me and Kurt, but he pulls it off differently than any of the others.

What forces Vonnegut to impose his presence on the text is his complete inability to remove himself at all from the act of communication at the core of any work of literature. He revels in that involvement. He has mentioned his desire, what he implies is a universal need of all human beings, for some "soul-deep fun." (He uses this term as a synonym for greatness.)

That's all I've got at the moment. Today I recommend: Mother Night. He won't let you down.

2007-04-05T12:11:00.000-07:00

unbelievable...

2007-04-02T00:34:00.000-07:00

it's just too grand and beautiful and inspiring and defining to keep to myself...

http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/braviaextcommhigh.html

250,000 multicoloured 'superballs' down a San Francisco street and Jose Gonzalez...it's as near an image of my ecstasy as I've ever encountered...

i think i watch it 4 times a day...but today it was something like 13...i'm telling you...

i forgot to mention...

2007-03-30T08:13:00.000-07:00

that given the post below AND the pretty significant wedding series going on right now i just thought I should mention, that if I ever get married I'm hoping to have some serious balloonage...and I can't garauntee that I won't be pretty choked if the idea is poached before I ever make it happen. i'm juuuust saying.

i just don't think i love anything more...

2007-03-29T10:23:00.000-07:00

han balloons (now that you've already scrolled down to figure it out...) I realize this is a seemingly juvenile topic for to write about on one's blog (particulairly a blog who's chief subscribers are preeeetty artsy-fartsy.( kristina, stop gagging.))

But let me explain. First of all, I've been thinking about balloons quite a bit lately. Mostly because Easter Sunday is quickly approaching and there ought to be more balloons. (Fortunately, St. Margaret's equips all its children for the service). On my very grey, very damp walk home from school this morning I was wondering what it was about balloons that made them so appealing and genuinely exciting to me. And I think I figured it out. (Though I make no promise, absolutely no promise, not even really an intention, of profundity...so sharelle, quit hoping.)

This is it: (painfully simple, and in the world of 20 page papers about American Transcendentalism, simplicity feels like God) Balloons are just colour. Moreover, colour one can just carry around with them, like a halo of ecstasy. They just seem so good. Such innocent colour.

Colour for colour's sake...unless someone would like to try to tell me about the moral implications of balloons...what they teach us...their inherent message to humanity...but I'd rather we just left them alone. Sometimes, it's just a squirrel.

Anyhow, you know what I really love? Those patterned balloons...surprisingly hard to find, which is probably good because I'd probably be tempted to carry one around with me all the time just for the hell of it. And I'm not even kidding. But on the Top 5 list of Things I'm Just Glad Exist, these guys make it everytime.

this is my favourite picture of the patterned balloon...they're just so great

that's all i had to say really. shocker.

oh and i also really like old-looking pictures of family picnics and birthdays...

they just kill me.

for Mitch Miller...

2007-03-13T20:55:00.000-07:00

In the face of a massive art history paper comparing two works I know (shamefully) little about, thoughts of a very good friend who I love to pray for, and the recognition that at some point, I'll need to sleep...I have just spent a few hours (kind of) starting and definitely finishing Nick Hornby's "Songbook". If you're reading Good Rocky, you probably already realize, that I am a ridiculously large fan of Hornby. (Once, after reading a relatively insightful book I decided I might have to hate it for a brutal misquotation alongside a misspelling of his name (*cough* Blue Like Jazz *cough*) and to this day still harbor a little bitterness...) I've read everything he's written and he never ceases to inspire the author in me, only it's a jaded inspiration as everytime I realize, I will never write like Hornby does.

Annnyhow. This excerpt is going out to the gang at Mitch Millers...not because I'm judging, but because I'm loving, and maybe it'll inspire some discussion..(and maybe it'll just piss solgaard off)...

"That's the thing that puzzles me about those who feel that contemporary pop (and I use the word to encompass soul, reggae, country, rock -- anything and everything that might be regarded as trashy) is beneath them, or behind them, or beyond them -- some preposition denoting distance, anyway: Does this mean that you never hear, or at least never enjoy, new songs, that everything you whistle or hum was written years, decades, centuries ago? Do you really deny yourselves the pleasure of mastering a tune (a pleasure, incidentally, that your generation is perhaps the first in the history of mankind to forgo) because you are afraid it might make you look as if you don't know who Harold Bloom is? Wow. I'll bet you're fun at parties.
...The very people that are snotty about the disposability of pop will go over and over again to see Lady Bracknell say "A handbag?" in a funny voice. They don't think that joke's exhausted itself? Maybe disposability is a sign of pop music's maturity, a recognition of its own limitations, rather than the converse."

Let me quickly clarify: I don't think the Mitch Miller's bunch is snotty. I found them all inviting, edifying and delightful. I'm just saying, would I not have got a couple rolled eyes if I mentioned my love of "London Bridge" at the table? Perhaps, but that's the thing, I think I might've rolled my eyes at them if they hadn't at me. Sooo...I hope you had just as good a time with Hornby as I have tonight.

that countdown never did continue...

2007-03-13T12:22:00.000-07:00

well, it's been a while since Good Rocky and I have had a little chat, but something about today is making me feel a little blog-ish. (Don't fret, I usually give up about half way through, so while at the moment I feel a small novel of fragmented thought coming on...in about 10 minutes I will not be surprised if I hit "save as draft" and never return...) It could've been the delightfully warm and windy walk home from school, it could be the empty apartment, it could be Led Zeppelin...nevertheless, today, I feel the need to articulate something.

But I'm not sure where to begin. classic. this is the point i usually give up at.

Well, I think the largest (and perhaps most encompassing) stream of thought I've been pouring myself into as of late is in regards to the Socialist movement in 1930's New York. (The Bronx, more specifically.) This is all shamlessly inspired by Irving Howe's autobiography: "A Margin of Hope" which I am thoroughly enjoying at the moment. Anyhow, yesterday I started wondering, why is it that we (the voting and politically inclined public) seem to have reconciled ourselves to the political process being completely reserved for diplomats and beaurocrats? What happened to the street rallies? What happened to the intellectual and idealistic (ideological) debates that lasted for hours? What happened to the voice of the elderly? But really, what distracted us? Why are the only people that do preach ideology on the street corners wear paper bags on their heads and talk about the end of the world?

I don't have any answers, I don't even know if I really want them. And let's face it, when some radical student group at UofW gets all riled up and wants to protest...everything...I am likely the last one to sign up. So, I suppose I am my own disgust. (again, classic.) But what happened to pamphlets and podiums? It's strange to miss things you never had. Anyhow, like I said, I don't have the answers. I'm sure someone will tell me soon enough it has everything to do with the media and shrinking brain capacity. Unfortunately, I might agree with them.

Well..the rest of what I wanted to say, I think I'll turn into a second post.

this one's for jody...

2007-02-19T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm just terrified to ever grow up...don't let me...

I cheated these are alllll getty images...classic.

the best free tickets of my life...

2007-01-20T21:47:00.000-08:00

not long ago, I was reading an article in Harper's magazine about...well really it was about donater's fatigue...anyhow, the author made a point about how in North America, we've replaced the ancient gods of greek mythology with modern celebrities...which I think is sadly true, but profoundly legitimate in the case of Gord Downie.

The trouble with trying to write about a concert that immediately claimed an eternal spot on the "top 5 live shows" list is that by the time you arrive back home, you are at the mercy of your wholly inadequate memory...and truly the whole experience has become a blur of bright lights, incendiary dance moves, a showman that was one number shy of changing my life, and applause that ought to have never ended.

I will say this: when they played "Ahead By A Century" I almost shit my pants. When Gord sang "In View" everyone sang along. "New Orlean's is Sinking" seared my heart for the upteenth time. And I've never been so glad to have a lighter on me as during "Fiddlers Green", to join the thousands of souls swaying in the candlelight.

And then I decided, If this Good Nation ever decides on a new anthem, I think "Courage" ought to be it.

If you weren't there, I wish you could've been. If you were...I know...

the countdown WILL continue...

2006-12-15T10:04:00.000-08:00

but first I'd love it if you could all enjoy some more of the magic that is McSweeneys.net... i particulairly liked the 4th one from the top...

Foolproof
Dinner Party
Icebreakers.

BY RUSSELL ZERBO

- - - -

"Who thinks Oswald acted alone? Show of hands."

"Every time I want to say potpourri, I just end up saying 'pope pourey.'"

"You think the more expensive the veal is, the smaller the box is?"

"Anybody really gotten close to killing themselves? I mean like really close, most of the note's finished, the noose or what have you is there. Maybe it's not hung up, but it's there."

"They should put the Pulitzers on TV. I'd finally get to see what Dan Brown really looks like."

"I would have gotten ice that was crushed or cubed, but that's me. I don't fuck around at dinner parties."

sorry, i'm getting there...

2006-12-14T17:39:00.000-08:00

Something to tide you over while I try to get my ass in gear on this countdown...
I was recently introduced to www.mcsweenyes.net
beautiful website
most of all the links to the Lists:
here's my recent favourite...

Strange
Compliments I've
Received Because
I'm Not Very
Attractive.

BY KATE SULLIVAN

- - - -

"The whites of your eyes are really white."

"And your thighs are so soft."

"And the sound they make when they rub together is really pleasant—like one of those rainstorm/ocean-sound tapes."

"And when you stand up they are half the size they are when you're sitting down."

"Your nose is right in the center of your face."

"Your feet are a perfectly medium length."

"Their extra width must give you really great balance."

So this is christmas...

2006-12-09T16:22:00.000-08:00

Can I paint you a little picture?

Bonnie's in her room at the two-four, lit by candles and christmas lights. The likes of Louis Armstrong, Chuck Berry and Otis Redding are singing their favourite carols, she's wearing a big sweater, long underwear, leg warmers and socks. She's eating a biscuit with cheese and drinking peppermint tea. (Classic). There's three feet of snow outside, and you can watch people breathe. The joy is suffocating.

I was trying to explain my love of Christmas to Jody yesterday, who shares my affection. I couldn't do it. It's something indescribeable. I think the closest I came was something like, I spend the entire year somewhere between faith and unbelief, never feeling more one than the other, though hoping for the former. Then, the snow falls, the candles are lit and advent is upon us, and for this month I can't escape belief. There's something too Transcendent in the festival, in the joy and beauty. So I spend this month anxious, joyfull and laughing but anxious nonetheless, an organic and breathing intensity. Somehow, I find either articulation or expression or something like that...relief I guess, from my dear mysterious lover, a mr. John Lennon...Happy Christmas...it's been on repeat for the last 3 hours.

number 19...

2006-12-06T16:03:00.000-08:00

well, that last post sucked. I realize and apologize. little update before we get to the Countdown...
currently reading: "The Story of Art" (worst art history textbook I've ever seen, save some of the fold-out images...)
currently wishing i had more time to read: "Narcziss and Goldmund" - Herman Hesse. (You can expect a pretty major post on the topic soon, i hope).
currently listening to: "Makers" Rocky Votolato. Pretty spectacular and I owe the moment to Spiro.
work of art I'm currently distracted by: Rythm 0, 1974 - Marina Abramovic. (A performance art piece no where near relevant to my exam on friday.)

In other news, the last couple weeks have been nothing short of exhausting. An exhaustion impossibly attributed to a single event or person or activity, instead many of each. Each with intimate, deep and scalding consequences, none of which I feel all too compelled to write about in such a public forum. Why mention it at all? The last two days have been irrevocably filled with dramatic parallels between peace and vicious angst, between light and shadow. And so I feel a little better about it all.

Now, the reason you all stopped by. (by all I mean "3")..number 19 in the 21 Title Christmas Countdown:

A new one but a great one. I realize I could get some flack for this...particulairly regarding the sex-scene-stand-ins, which i would just like to say, is one of my favourite elements of the flick. BUT what really makes this a keeper on the Christmas list? The thing that keeps you coming back to it DESPITE freaking Keira Knightly? Good old Hugh Grant the Prime Minister and his speach to the American President...

wouldn't it be wonderful...

In Santa we trust...

2006-12-05T10:20:00.000-08:00

number 20 in the 21 Title countdown:

Not exactly a classic in my books. And I'm terribly sorry, but I've never seen the 1947 version. Let's face it though, I think the only reason I really like it is because it's all about Santa Claus annnnnd out in old Wink-town, "Santa" is a bit of a four letter word. (Don't even get me started). So (does this qualify as ironic? Sharelle?) It sort of seems that Miracle on 34th St. becomes something of a silent protest... thaaat didn't make sense.

Stay tuned.

countdown to great times...

2006-12-04T12:17:00.000-08:00

Top 5 Christmas movies that WILL be watched this season of advent...
But then, I thought of waaaay more than 5....so, i decided to make a little advent calendar of my own.

The 21 Title Christmas Countdown. (In no really particular order)

And I begin with a classic:

A Personal Favourite, and could easily top the charts.

NOT to be confused with the more recent "A Muppet Christmas Movie", this beauty came out mid-nineties and is IMPOSSIBLE to buy. The only copy includes some pretty great DQ commercials, as it was taped off the CBC.

The Muppet Family Christmas brings together the Sesame Street Gang, the Muppets, the Fraggle Rockers...I think they're all stuck in Fozzie's childhood farmhouse and there's a blizzard coming. It's just got everything, Christmas carols, the Muppet band annnd most of all, the Swedish chef.

I can't wait.

21 days...

2006-12-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

May I paint you a little picture?

I have a European Art History exam that requires my immediate and intense attention, and a room that needs a desperate cleaning.

What am I doing? So far today, I've eaten a lot of crap, drank alot of water, watched some of the worst music videos I've ever seen, downloaded some music...basically, I haven't torn myself from the couch. And now Question Period's on the old CBC, so it doesn't look like I'll be moving any time soon...

The Canadian Politics Update all of you are waiting for?
Here it is: the Liberal Party just elected a new leader, Stephan Dion. He's from Quebec, and was elected on a platform of reform for the party and idealistic change for the country. I was pretty surprised Dion came out on top, my money was on Gerard Kennedy (literally, I lost 5 bucks), but in the end I think he'll be a decent choice. Someone was telling me they thought the fact that he was from Quebec might hurt the party's chances in Western Ridings, particulairly from Alberta. To which I say: did you really think the Liberals were going to pull off any Albertan votes anyway? And really, is it SO terrible if the Liberals win a majority and our Lone Star Canadians feel alienated once again? I don't think I really meant that. ...

Jack Leighton just said "ass" but i didn't catch the context...oh i think he was asking about the Government's "big ass, i mean gas" something like that...Speaking of Jack Leighton, can someone find the man some Vallium? He's killing my party.

If I could do one thing for my country it'd be this: implement proportionate representation. Details in the next post perhaps.

A photo to leave you with?

Well, here's the story. My good friend Cherry just got married to another friend, Dustin Wiebe. I've never known to people more anxious to set themselves apart. To embrace difference and artfully realise originality. Their wedding was no exception and no let down, I wish I had some photos to leave with you.

The Ceremony took place in their friend's backyard...that's right, outside in the 3 feet of snow. It started at 7pm and lasted about 20 minutes, cherry wore this beautiful coat over her jacket, and the bridesmaids all wore jackets over their dresses, but alot of bare legs...my briliant self included. It was about -31 C. which is about -23 F, so pretty bleeding cold, but so beautiful. There were candles in tin cans hanging from all the trees, the bridesmaids carried lanterns, and we, the witnesses, watched the ceremony through branches and flickering light. Paired with the fierce cold, the experience was literally breathtaking.

It was cloudy and snowed for most of the wedding day, however, the next morning, as my roommate and I headed back to the city, there they were: Sun dogs. Yet another seminal experience of the Manitoba sky.

none of these were taken in Manitoba. The one above looks most like home. Sun dogs are formed by the bending of sunlight by ice crystals in the air. There's a fancy name for them, I can't remember it. Is this common information to all my PacRim pals? Well, regardless, they're a beautiful truth.

time for something productive...oh wait...

2006-11-04T11:31:00.000-08:00

Well. Today's not exactly off to a great start. First of all, Newcastle United is losing, and juuust might end up at the bottom ranking in the premiership league, which is really only unfortunate...[they officially have one minute to score in...not looking great...] anyhow, really only unfortunate because it was from watching Newcastle matches that I fell in love with the sport, and I just feel like i owe them gratitude in form of support, eeeven despite brutal and heartbreaking losses. WHICH they just accomplished, but i don't think they lost by enough to dump them into the last spot...i'll get back to you.

I'm not sure the other catalysts to my lethargy this morning, it does appear to only be a physical lacking, because my mind seems to be a whirr with ideas I wish I could articulate. But the question is, if you can't express yourself in language another person can understand, did you ever really have anything to express?

Anyhow, what I should really tell you about, is the last film on the eternal top 5...given, this post is a little overdue, but let me just say, I've watched it twice more since then just to be sure. It's called "Green Street Hooligans", starring our good friend Elijah Wood who's really just not that good but suits the part pretty well. The film was made in England and never released (Apparantly..?) in the North America. It's about the Football firms of London, it's gratuitously violent, full of pubs and british laughter and of course, football. And, a phenomenal supporting role. Now, I had to download the film because I couldn't find a copy to buy in all of Winnipeg, and I recommend you do the same, or be honest and moral and go pick it up somewhere. However you do it, you should probably go track it down as soon as you can, I promise you one of those spectacular evenings you write about on your blog as it occurs, just to ensure its immortality.

don't even try...

2006-11-02T15:37:00.000-08:00

currently listening to: Howlin' Wolf
currently idolizing: Abraham Lincoln...do not even get me started...
currently regretting: not taking a longer nap
currently working on: a better post. buuut our good friends at Jeopardy just entered the living room, so this is going to have to wait at least half an hour.

2006-10-20T14:49:00.000-07:00

well my good friends, i don't want to give anything away to a certain someone...so this post is going to be phenomenally vague. but i thiiiiiink I just stumbled upon the newest edition to my list of eternal top 5 movies. Which will make the second addition of the year. Though this one wasn't produced this year. And I think it's probably old news. I don't even care.

The Top 5 Movies-Of-Eternal-Greatness excluding the mystery film?
1. Little Miss Sunshine (it being the other addition of this year)
2. Almost Famous
3. Amelie
4. High Fidelity
5. youuu'll see

and eternal Hon. Ments: What About Bob annnd Our good friends at the Empire.

hoooow many times have I written this exact post do you think? i'm going to go with at least 7.

i almost forgot...

2006-10-16T15:57:00.000-07:00

it finally happened today. And it just about killed me. And not reeally in the 'killed me because it was spectacular' holden caufield way. Moreso, almost killed me because all I wanted in the whole world was to just die.

So. I'm walking out of the University of Winnipeg, this person comes up to me...

"Hey, aren't you 'kick-me-in-the-face-space"?

"ahhh..(starts laughing and getting awkard) yip."

prooobably most awkward and just generally painful encounter of my university career. Little tip: if you want someone to think you're not a loser, maaaybe don't let them know you spend all your time checking people out on myspace. ohhh geez.

...for those of you that haven't met. this is jody. she kills me in that great, unbelievable way. and get THIS, she's a member of the VLC. whaaaa?

good old lancaster...

2006-10-16T14:54:00.000-07:00

Band of the Day: The Constantines. Bry Webb: I want to have your children. And I'd probably name one of them Bry because it's just such a great name.

So, I went to McDonalds today to write stories about people. The weather was already reminding me of just about every day in England, and then it came back to me. One of the greatest things I realized while at Capernwray, with the help of my good friend Sharelle Drewlo.

The universal truth of McDonalds employees is this: you really aren't loving it.

Particulairly that girl in Lancaster. Sheee was not a happy chappy..

Another fond memory? The 'millies and steeks', aka, english hicks. Fantastic.

annnd i'm back to the books.

i don't even know what to call this...

2006-10-14T23:43:00.000-07:00

well. here I am again. It's 1:37 in the morning and sleep is the love I'm after. So far, I'm being rejected.

The thought for the moment? Sometimes, you just need to sit down after tying to study all night, and watch whatever movie happens to be plyaing on TV. But then I start to think: is this just a waste of perfectly good time to think? Is this just a waste of brain cells? I start to think, No, of course not. Always with an eye to Truth, always in the pursuit of Good and growth, can't all things be means to this end? Now, has anyone else caught the fact that I'm becoming my own worst nightmare? It all comes back to this: not everything is profound. Sometimes it's just a damn squirrel and you need to get over it. Sometimes, it's a B movie late at night and that's all it should be. perfect.

Other news? I fiiiinally booked a flight out west. And I'd have been handing out details tonight if any of the people I hoped to stay with would answer their fricking phones. How can everyone all of a sudden have a life? And why don't I? That's the real question.

Well. That's all I've got. Sorry for getting your hopes up. But tomorrow, tomorrow is going to be a great day. A morning spent in honoured presence. An afternoon spent with a good friend (hopefully) and an evening spent reading. I can't wait.

nick hornby is still my hero of all heros...

2006-10-10T11:27:00.001-07:00

yet another seemingly useless update on my life. Why? I'll get to that eventually. Possibly the next post but we'll have to see what happens.

For now, here's the story. I figured out why I was up all night. Basically, I didn't sleep, decided against my better judgement to go to my class at 8:30. After my class felt a little guilted about my english text that i've still got about 120 pages to go on and i need to be done it by tomorrow. So again, against the wiser fibres within me, I tracked down a cup of coffee and sat and read for a couple hours, got home and have been puking my mind out ever since. Nice, I'm sure you alll wanted to know. What have I learnt from this experience? Read the title once more.

Nick Hornby. He's saved my life on more than one occasion. Today, it was through the divine little romantic comedy Fever Pitch. I'm sorry. I realize this could be a maaajor point of disrespect but i just had to get it out there.

I'm sick as a dog. I have homework to catch up on like I can't even believe and all that's keeping me alive right now is Jimmy Fallon and the Boston Red Sox.

annnd iiii'm going to have to cut this short...there's just nothing worse than being alone and sick. except maybe just being alone with nothing to do. At least the toilet's keeping me company. Sorry, yikes. still too much information.

nick hornby is still my hero of all heros...

2006-10-10T11:27:00.000-07:00

2006-10-10T01:22:00.000-07:00

tonight, i lay awake on the couch. it's now 3:15am. there's a clove in my hand so you'll have to forgive any typos. my mind just wouuuuld nooooot shuuut offf. iiit happens sometimes.

so what did I do? Use the time to catch up on reading like a dedicated student? mmm no. Trust the goold old CBC at times like this. The late night movie? One of my all time favourites: The Royal Tennenbaums. God does love me.

What's my favourite scene you ask? Well let me tell you. After Eli smashes the car into the house right before Etheline and Henry Sherman's wedding, Margot and Richie are on the roof, and they smoke a cigarette, what looks like Richie's first. It just fricking kills me.

well. since my alarm is set to wake in about 3 hours, I might try to get in a little sleep now.

i think i might regret this...

2006-10-05T16:12:00.000-07:00

i'm putting off the return. I haven't had time to really discuss it. At this point "the" return has now turned into more of an explanation for the revival...nevertheless, today, it's alllll about useless information.

The question is: does anyone else secretly love the "Fatlip/Pain For Pleasure" video by our good friends from Ajax, Sum 41? Wellll you got me. I decided just now, that I pretty much love that video. It's kind of ugly, and lame and cheap but MAN, do I ever sit to watch everytime. For a couple of reasons, I think:

1. At one point this girl trys to break out into this little stepping around dance and it preeeettty much kills me. She's really bad and on the screen for maaaybe two seconds but SHOOT it is fuuunnnnyy. Awkwardly funny, because she looks like she's trying preetty hard.

2. I just think Steve-O is funny. It could be a Canadian thing.

3. I think the whole thing just looks a little small-town familiar. Parking lots, bad rapping, ducks. They got it all.

but i still like to smoke...(occasionally)...

2006-10-02T20:30:00.000-07:00

I'm still working on this triumphant return...for now, trivial details.

And I wanted to get this out there before the other 4 active 'bloggers' I know all write about the same thing...but I'm kind of feeling like as soon as I finish this, I'll go check the said blogs annnd find I might as well have copied and pasted.

Anyhow, I just had the pleasure of seeing An Inconvenient Truth, a semi-documentary film of Al Gore's 'crusade' against global warming. I thought it was really well done, really good in fact, and would certainly recommend it. It's not without it's slow moments, but for a society that just dropped $9.7 million to watch The Rock coach football for an hour and a half, it's not like a lull in the picture is all that foreign.

One of the things I found most entertaining was a segment in which Gore discusses the misconception of scientists being confused, or in two minds, about whether or not the warming was natural and cyclical, or whether we were having a direct impact upon it. He spoke about two studies, one of which surveyed something like 920 articles of peer-reviewed, scholarly articles and none of them were of the opinion that global warming was merely cyclical. A second study which took into account something like 600 artciles from popular press material found that (something like) 53% opined that the current warming was simply natural and human beings were playing minimal part.

In reality, the studies didn't thrill me so much as scare me. But I was entertained by the real dichotomy made between what most of us read, and what you really have to search for to read. iiiinteresting. Really this has been a key player in what I think about ever since I tried to pass Margaret Atwood off as a scholarly source in a politics paper...diiid not go so well but I still think the citation was relevant.

Anyhow. Back to American History, or as I like to call it, The Understanding of Unpleasantness. Juuust kidding. It's actually a fascinating course, and I love the American ideal more and more every day.

I'm getting there...

2006-09-29T17:49:00.000-07:00

I haven't had the time required to orchestrate this restoration of the revival I keep talking about. Soon though, soon.

This one, is for a small group of women I'm still trying to imitate.

Piano man he makes his stand
In the auditorium
Looking on she sings the songs...

i don't know what to do with my hands...

2006-09-27T21:44:00.002-07:00

Currently watching: Conan O'Brian
CD of the day: Bruce Cockburn - In the Falling Dark
Concert I just got home from: Amy Milan...faaaaantastic

I finally came across some thinking today which felt quite worthy of Good Rocky. And I promised myself I'd hammer it out tonight, despite all fear and inarticulance. Alas, tonight will not be the night of the triumphant return of Good Rocky. No, already I'm 40 minutes late for my big date with an early bed...so the revival will just have to wait until the morning. And maybe, juust maybe, by some Good grace I'll be possessed by a spirit of eloquence.

But let's not hold our collective breath.

It seems there's been alot happening in the last couple weeks, and only now am I beginning the process of contemplation and understanding, needless to say, it's been a painful afternoon. Painful in a grand, laughable way.

Right, I said I was going to bed.

I'd leave you this great photo of this Japanese man laughing and smoking, but I can't figure out how to save it to this computer. I guess it'll just have to wait too.

cash by jonny cash...

2006-09-26T10:29:00.000-07:00

Weeeellll here we are. The realest of all Good Rocky's Revivals...but the question remains..does anyone actually check anymore?

So, the biggest news in the news department? This little posty-poo is coming from you from my very new and very good friend Petey, the MacBook. I have to say it's preeeetty nice to be sitting in the two-four writing a post instead of sitting next to this guy that spends all day in the Udub computer lab annnd he smellls preeetty reminiscent of...mm Rome.

so this morning, i had all this witty information to fill this post with and all of it evades me now. Shocker.

the material things?
CD of the Day: Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips
School Book of the Week: The Republic - Plato (whooa that sounds pretentious. I'm just taking a political philosophy course right now, that's all. I doubt I'd have ever read it of my own accord)
Non-School related Book of the Week: That Hideous Strength - C.S. Lewis
Joke of the week: anything that comes out of ms. jody's mouth

soooo much useless crap...

2006-09-10T10:40:00.000-07:00

quite a while ago, a good, wise friend wrote a post about beautiful words of the english language. (I tried to make a link to said post but i couldn't really find it annnnd i gave up pretty easy. It was posted on Sharelle's Show 'n Share for the blog world keeners...(janzen..) just kidding). It came to my attention that there are some pretty fricking ugly words floating around as of late and i juuuuust wanted to point out a couple, a couple I wish I could eradicate from the world. The first being "emo" but I think it's moreso the cultural phenomenon that pisses me off rather than the actual word, but i still feel like it's a stupid word. The second being "dramedy" (one might refer to Little Miss Sunshine as a "dramedy".) Now, as Kristina well knows, and most of you should know, i am a preeeettty big fan of the word merge, or, the werge, but this one just sucks balls. Really I think film genres are better left unmerged, and I kid you not, I overheard someone discussing Snakes On A Plane as a "comaction" and I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

In other news, the Golden Age (the apartment formerly known as the Gord Downie) is well underway to being settled and comfortable. Oh boy I did want to kill myself yesterday afternoon, as I was alone in the apartment and I stood in the kitchen just as the last of the kitchen light bulbs burnt out, leaving only jody's room and the living room with working lightbulbs. The real problem being that the cielings are fricking 12 feet high and I couldn't reach any of the light fixtures until Jody got back that evening and we had to haul the kitchen table from room to room...sooooo much fun.

Tonight, off to St. Maggy's, to hear my good old David Widdicomb speak about Revelations. there will be definite Shitting of pants, rest assured.

does anyone even check this?...

2006-08-30T09:15:00.000-07:00

well. she's back. let me juuuuuust try to throw down a little update...let's seeee....I've spent the summer working. Working and reading. To date best books I've read this summer (By the way, the majority of this post, if not its entirety, will be devoted to books, movies and music. As our good friend and hero Rob Gordon once stated "call me shallow, these things are important". Amen.) so best books of the summer: The Dharma Bums -Jack Kerouac, Everything is Illuminated - Jonathan...something, I started reading Moby Dick but then lost the book just as i was starting to get hooked, i don't even know what else I read. A lot of magazines actually. Lots of the old Rolling Stone.

Now, the real motivation behind this post? Well, Bonnie and Bill spent the day in the city yesterday, juust kicking around, hanging out, ranting, laughing, jolly sorts of things. (We hang out in the city together for a day every now and then..it's a pretty great time). Sure enough, as usually happens, we end up going to see a movie.

I'm sure most of you have seen this by now, actually I hope you have or I hope you will soon, because without any exaggeration, it was one of the best movies I've ever seen. One of those moments in the theatre when you wish everyone you knew, everyone that was even slightly important to you filled all the seats, leaving illuminated, peacefull and knowing you better. The film was Little Miss Sunshine and I just can't wait to throw it on to every top 5 I ever do for the rest of my life. It was just that grand.

I knew I should've written about this yesterday. Maybe I'll go see it again today. There're just so many things that are Right in that film. Speeeectacular. and the characters are immaculant.

Tell me you've all seen it, or you're going tonight.

she never sees things changing...

2006-07-02T18:13:00.000-07:00

she only sees them ending.

I've seen alot of great shows at The Walker, including The Arcade Fire, Bruce Cockburn and The Weakerthans (to mention only a few), but I have to say, without question, that Wilco blew them all out of the water. (Maybe not Bruce Cockburn because that's kind of like beating Jesus...doubtful). But I did shit my pants, on a number of occassions, I think Annie can testify. That's all I can really say at the moment. It blew my frigging mind.

the first of july...

2006-06-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

tomorrow night....

there will likely be some shitting of pants.

sorry i wish i had some pictures...

2006-06-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

well. i had the pleasure of spending today with a great old friend. sheee's been in the circle for a prettty long time and goes by the name aballs. or "Annie" to those who know her least/her parents...ANYhow, balls spent a year in Malawi working at an orphanage for children with AIDS, or parent's that have died from AIDS. Exactly: she's a fricking catch.

So, besides aballs being great, i just wanted to say, I had the pleasure of seeing "Friends With Money" this evening. I realize this is old news...iii think it actually came out somewhere near January...but i have to say, it was extremely enjoyable. Killer cast including Jennifer Aniston, Joan Cusack, and fricking Frances McDormand..hoooly man. I'm feeling like if you like Stars, Broken Social Scene or Sarah Harmer, you'll love it. Worth the drive.

OH i ALSO saw "Nacho Libre" yesterday and was croutched in the aisle crying and laughing. I feel like most of you might not have the same reaction, but i don't really give a damn. The theatre was packed and it was me and my two friends doing all the laughing...ohhh winkler.

Last item: Annie was talking about how she thought it was kind of retarted that i mentioned evan's reference to me as gwyneth's character in the royal tennenbaums saying "Bonnie, I think everyone knows you smoke" but just for the record, I think the comment was made in regards to some other ridiculous childhood secret. not smoking. i get it, the secret's out.

the only place I really want to be right now...

2006-06-13T13:16:00.000-07:00

is Berlin. In a big way. Let me tell you a little story called Brazil v. Croatia and i have a feeling my face would be red and white. I've got this thing for the underdog. Underdogs and patrol vests, i just can't help myself. Let me tell you another little story called the World Cup and some fresh espresso and I thought i died for a minute.

More choked than ever before. Why? It's a little after half time, Brazil leading 1 nothing, and i have to go to work. AND i really feel a Croatian goal coming on...could just be wishful thinking, nevertheless, I wish i started at 5.

Oh and think about this. The next time you're watching a world cup game, notice the security gaurds who have to face the crowd. Can you fricking imagine.

Strangest 'compliment'(?) of my life: Evan Dowling "Bonnie, I always identify you with Gywenth Paltrow's character in the Royal Tennenbaums. You know, she smoked for 22 years and noone knew. That reminds me of you." Classic.

doesn't that look like a volleyball?

look up, rain is falling, looks like...suck

2006-06-11T09:11:00.000-07:00

I'm not saying everything should be perfect all the time, I'm not even saying that I hate the rain all that much. I am saying that cold, rain, fog and overcast skys for times in a week, liiiittle depressing and I'm ready for some warmth. (Which is odd because come July and humid-as-hell 38 degree days, I pretty much live for crappy weather.)

The great news about all this would-be snow? For one who works (alot) at an outdoor pool, this means you can get some pretty great reading done. A few days ago I finished "The Word Before The Powers" by someone Campbell. Lent to me by the St. Margaret's Library so I expected something spectacular and I was not at all dissappointed. Highly recommended. Well, it's an ethic of preaching so perhaps not universally accessible. No, definitely accessible, perhaps not universally relevant. Kiiiiind of like this post.

Next up, is Jack Kerouac's "The Dharma Bums" WHICH, I haven't quite finished but is safe to say, one of the greatest books I've read in a very long time. Fantastic. If you've been turned off of Kerouac after "On The Road", "Dharma Bums" may very well be the literature to haul you back into the light. (of Jack being a fricking genius). *check back tomorrow for my favourite excerpts* OH. I sometimes read two books at once, which is what I'm doing right now. So alongside Dharma Bums, I'm enjoying "The Power of One", and as the lender warned, it's starting off a little slow, but still fully enjoyable. I'm lapsing on the author's name at the moment...

Anyhow, little booklist for the summer:
"How To Be Good" - Nick Hornby (LIKELY i'll end up reading "High Fidelity" and "About a Boy", it's been happening for the last few summers...)
"Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Puffs" - Chuck Klosterman (spelling? probably not correct. I don't really want to hear about it)
"Moby Dick" - Herman Melville (Bill says this is fantastic. I'm going to be honest, the length kind of throws me...)
"That Hideous Strength" - C.S. Lewis (we all knew Clive'd jump on here at some point.)
There're like 20 more...iii'm drawing blanks. Looks like it's time for a little trip to my good friend McNally's.

I JUST got a GREAT shirt, with Jack Kerouac's face on it by the way. Greatest shirt i own.

i forgot to mention...

2006-06-08T22:41:00.000-07:00

i thought of another moment in music that i pretty much live for: Getting the celaphane off a new cd.

it's a love/hate thing really

gotta love the U2 lyric start off...

2006-06-05T21:48:00.000-07:00

sunday bloody sunday. But a great kind of "bloody". "Unreal" kind of bloody. Baaasically, we're talking one of the greatest sundays.

Sunday being yesterday. The thing is, I could go into all sorts of detail about the service at St. Margarets, lunch and a drive back to winkler with good friends buuuut I'd really hope for any such details to actually be something near entertaining and i'm just not feeling it tonight. Not exactly "in the groove" one might say. Small shout out to all the CP's: i just had an intense craving for our good friend the Almond (freaking) Macaroon...mmmmboy.

Anyhow. After the luscious ride home with my good friend Jules, who just holds the record for some of the greatest chats of my life, I arrived at the Back Forty Folk Festival in Morden. Pretty much the greatest event in southern manitoba. Basically, you sit in the bowl of the park in morden, bake yourself in the incendiary (it's my new goal to use this word at least once on every post on Good Rocky...) manitoba sun, and listen to some phenomenal music. This year felt alot more like a blues fest than a folk fest but that suits me just fine. Heath had to head home shortly after I arrived seeing as how her sunburn was turning a pretty solid purple...classic...so it was just me and bill. FAN-tastic. (not that heath had to head home, not at all, she's a freaking hoot when she's not wasted on sunlight). Fantastic because we ended up just sitting on the tarp, drinking coffee, and bumping into the greatest people you could ever bump into.

Here's the thing about this day, I realized later on, much later on, near to when I was heading to bed, that a year ago yesterday, I was having a much different night. A pretty regretfull night, which already makes it kind of strange to realize it's anniversary. It just kind of seemed like the day redeemed itself, and I didn't really see it coming.

Who's kidding who, there's likely more to this story, and it could likely be a little more entertaining...something about Good Rocky though...just begs a cop-out. classic.

New Goal in Life: See U2 live.
(a pretty serious, pretty monumental goal. and the best part? Fully recognizeable)

points? not my style...

2006-06-03T21:37:00.000-07:00

iiiiiiii have no other news. so just some visual titilation. (bad choice of words I realize...i think sharelle once wrote a post about ugly words annnnd titilation would definitely make my list. Come to think of it she might've been looking for beautiful words...in which case someone should probably write a post about ugly words.)

So thought for the day: When did i get so damn dull? AND when did this fresh bout of self-deprication come about? I'm starting to think that allllll this really hit the fan abouuut the same time the old return to The Shits (aka Winkler).

Well. Like I said, no other news. Juuuuust visual ...fancy?

I think i might've posted this already, but it's my favourite photo of the ones I've ever taken.

part one of the bathroom series, which is finally finished. aggs-little bit for you.

finally, a realized goal...

2006-06-01T10:16:00.000-07:00

michelle, julia, sadie...allll women who've accomplished something I have not: had The Beatles play a song for them. (And technically Patty...as in Boyd as in "Something")

Or so I thought. I recently hosted/mc'd a Tribute to the Beatles' night at the brand new Centennial Concert Hall in Winkler. (The night featured 4 local bands who all played Beatles' covers in sort of a chronological format...) Anyhow, I put together a bit of a slideshow to flip through while I was making the segways between acts, and as I was fishing around for photos (Juuuuust the most illegal night in history by the way...), I came across this:
thaaaaat's right my friends. The Beatles' first recording, (backing up Tony Sheridan), "My Bonnie". daaaaaamn straight. And I spent most of my life hating that song with a fiery passion. It just doesn't seem so bad right now.

Other updates...welllll....today's my first day off in a pretty long time. The good old Winkler Aquatic Centre. Have I mentioned I spend most of my days just trying to understand the Menno-ese that goes on? For example: "Can I come to bathe now, already?" You really need the accent to get the full picture...It's like Yoda meets Oma.

anyhow. iii have to go write 4 essays by two o'clock. little freaked out. Each of them: 1500 words. shiza.

"needing to explain" being the running theme of my week...

2006-05-31T13:39:00.001-07:00

top 5 things in music that f-ing kill you...

go.

for those of you that noticed a deletion...

2006-05-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

"He has only to participate a little himself in working at this task - here as everywhere onlookers find it easy to criticise, but the result can be nothing more than onlookers' criticism- to realise that here are burdens to be moved which he may, of course, leave lying, but which he cannot move without at once being involved in the difficulties evident in the very profound discussions undertaken at this point by the early workers. In itself there is really neither shame nor disgrace if as theologians we are forced by the christological task along difficult and impassable paths of thought and language. The only decisive question is this: whether or not on this path we are really trying to do real justice to this task. To make sure of this we must always take heed to the warning against "intellectualism." But if this warning is meant to put an end to our task or forbid us taking pains over it, it is sheer folly." -Karl Barth "The Problem of Christology"

Thaaaaaaaaat killed me.

a different source of excitement than usual...

2006-05-11T14:36:00.000-07:00

Ingrid Bergman, Ingrid Bergman
Let's go make a picture
On the island of Stromboli
Ingrid Bergman

Ingrid Bergman,
you're so perty
You'd make any mountain quiver
You'd make fire fly from the crater
Ingrid Bergman

This old mountain it's been waiting
All its life for you to work it
For your hand to touch its hard rock
Ingrid Bergman
Ingrid Bergman
If you'll walk across my camera,
I will flash the world your story,
I will pay you more than money
Ingrid Bergman

Not by pennies dimes nor quarters
But with happy sons and daughters
And they'll sing around Stromboli
Ingrid Bergman

This old mountain it's been waiting
All its life for you to work it
For your hand to touch its hard rock
Ingrid Bergman
Ingrid Bergman
June the 1st. At the Walker Theatre in Winnipeg. Wilco. Faaantastic. If only Billy Bragg would arrive unexpectedly...

2006-05-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

wellll... for someone who a mere month ago was talking about how much she hated blogging, and I still find a deep, deep loathing at the thought, I find Good Rocky's getting alot of action lately. (unlike the author...).

First of all, there is some small creature dying either in or near my house because I can hear it's squealings but I am preeettty much paralyzed with fear and being grossed out. And I've now just worked up enough balls to go turn the light on outside and see what's happening. Annnnd sure enough there's a half mauled rabbit on our doorstep. Fricking cat. Now the dilemma. Do you let the cat finish her job orrr go smoke it with a shovel? I really apologize to all the very conciencious vegetarians out there but i CANNOT go and kill a rabbit right now, even though it seems like the humane thing to do....maaaybe sometimes people should just stay out of things.

Now. Very few have had the priveledge, only i don't think Kristina would call it a priveledge. But very few people have witnessed myself as I laugh myself to tears and sometimes, leeeet's all face it now, peeing. But today, my good brother evan, certainly had to endure stretch-face bonnie. And we noticed, or he articulated, rather, that I'm going through something of a face stage. We noticed this as we watched Dumb and Dumber, and Harry's getting the number from the woman at the gas station while his leg's on fire. The line is "just give me the damn number!" the face is priceless.

A few other things that've enduced fits of laughter. (inescapable and generally last 10-20 minutes):
-remembering playing tetherball with my 6' friend ashley, and I, some would say "slow" hand-eye coordination, generally played with my face.
-hearing about a friend, who worked at KFC for a brief period, dump a huge vat of used grease on his head in order to fight off some birds, and then had a 'wet-head' for a week.
-thinking about a bare ass in pantyhose (Aaaaa lot of these might only be funny to me...)
-hearing about a very organized, very clean girlfriend accidentally dumping a can of varnish onto her head and having to wash her hair with gasoline.
-there's a scene in the Dream Team where Micheal Keaton is telling that baseball guy he's going to have to go to jail for stealing that other guy's cupcake. ohhh man iiii can't breathe right now.

kind of for solgaard...

2006-05-04T14:55:00.000-07:00

thiiiiiis will kill me forever. As I walked down Wellington Avenue (what is it about starting a sentence with the word "As" that just stinks of pretention?) the green-ness of the green caught me off gaurd. It enveloped old brick mansions and devoured wrought-iron fences. It stole my breath. It even felt green. And then I noticed, behind budding shrubs, a wild rosebush already blossoming the smallest, pinkest, most startling and beautiful flowers. Soon these roses replaced the green shrubs. And I didn't have my f*^%ing camera.

I guess it's ok. I think those steps are now well entrenched in me. The grey sky, more grey than I've ever seen it, perhaps save the dead of winter..., the rick black iron, the radient, breathing green framing and fusing the scene and the poetic delicacy of that devastating pink blooming. I'm telling you. Will kill me forever.

iii'll delete this tomorrow...

2006-04-27T20:58:00.000-07:00

alllright, allllright. Bill's not home for me to rant to. Well, actually, noone's here for me to rant to. But the thing is, today, I've encountered a couple things that've preeeettty well made me more irritated, more angry, than i've been in a while.

The first was some new PussyCat Dolls video. Likely that's enough said. I can't tell you what the song is called or even how it sounds because I started to throw up before I could figure any of that out. I can tell you that Snoop Dog is in it, as fricking talentless and ridiculous as ever. When did muchmusic turn into a soft-porn industry? liiiittle unsettling. And I know you could tell me that they're just embracing they're sexuality and are empowering themselves through it but the thing is, they're not. They're certainly not empowering women. They may be empowering women who are 5'8 and weigh 95 pounds. But even then I'd say, should they HAVE to be 95 pounds to be empowered? And what about the 14 year old woman trying to come to grips with what it seems like society demands of her, that is, to be empowered only through sexuality, and therefore, she'll have to conform to some idealized (hugely unnatural) body form, disregard intelligence, ambitions, and individuality, because 'men' don't respond to those things, and what we're all still trying to do of course, is impress men. give me a damn break.

annnd the second thing was that i watched this fricking interview with Jerry Falwell and I threw up in my mouth. I don't even know if I can talk about this, I might need Bill here just to legitimize things. But to make a statement such as "all of our behavior is chosen, God doesn't make homosexuals...[2 minutes later] you're not born a racist or a Christian or heterosexual" hoooldd on. If you're not made a homosexual...youuu're a fricking idiot.

we are collapsed in the act of just being here...

2006-04-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

Well. Here' s the question today. Actually, here's my idea. Hold on I need Albert...the ipod...(OOook true story: I've just gone to retrieve the ipod from the bag i left on the patio this afternoon, only to find a frog A FROG sitting on the strap...aaa so gross)

So, this is my idea. I realize it's not by any means an original idea to associate music with a particular setting, that being the entire idea of ambience. But it seems to me we generally limit the idea of ambience to something like soft lighting, soft music, or really powerful kind of sexually tense music. (I can't believe I said it either). Anyhow, lately, it's come to my attention that I kind of get a feeling for a specific song in a specific time or place. And more than just dim, kind of maroon feeling evenings. Kind of like wine and cheese. But I don't know anything about wine and cheese.

Alright, III am making jack shit for sense so here are my favourite ideas so far;
Wilco's "I am Trying to Break Your Heart" is best suited to a bright, warm but crisp morning.
Feist's "Mushaboom" and a chipper, sunlit afternoon walk
Ben Fold's "The Ascent of Sam" and an evening walk with a strong wind, at twilight while the sky is vaguely blue, and the trees create oily silhouettes when one stares upward.
The Constantine's "Nightime/Anytime(It's alright)" in the middle of a city, while the sun sets. (The song makes you want to run, but I understand this may be against some existing policies..)
The Weakerthans "I Hate Winnipeg" anywhere at anytime, in Winnipeg (kiiind of a j-o-k-e)
Wolf Parade's "You Are a Runner, and I Am My Father's Son" dictates a smoke outside at 5 o'clock.
Stars' "Heart" will your sitting still in the afternoon. (As recommended by a poet).

annd I feel like there's a track in the beginning of Sufjan's "Come on Feel The Illonoise" that seems like sitting awake in your bed at dawn, staring onto your neighbour's roof, but I'll have to let you know which one exactly tomorrow.

now. I realize that there're all sorts of music...whaaat's another word for snobs...juuust kidding. please. Leave me a comment. Teach me.

=

=

ohhh geez...

2006-04-23T19:10:00.000-07:00

all this time i thought "bronwyn" meant "beautiful" that's what people told me.

According to BabyNamesWorld dot com iiiit means "fair breast"

so many clouds that you didn't notice any of them...

2006-04-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

So. The wind walked me home tonight. Along with Ben Folds and a couple other friends. Needless to say, I walked the long way around.

The service tonight was something indescribeable. It's interesting in hearing a sermon which you felt you could have given, because the reaction is hardly "i already knew this" but moreso, "i had no idea that was legitimate" and is therefore, an incredibly encouraging event.

I've been thinking alot about Thomas lately. Rather, I've been consumed by doubt lately. This is a touchy subject to bring up for a couple of reasons but mostly because it seems like 'to doubt' has become a bit of a trend lately, and to be sure of something must have meant you hadn't thought it through, so then i start to wonder, have I just placed my faith in doubt? (iiii feel like that sounded a liiiiiiiittle Cary Bradshaw, no?)

I'd really like to write about how I've come to understand Thomas and habit and worship, but there's something about blogging that just shuts me up like you wouldn't believe. So i'll try to work it out for myself with some paper and a pencil, and from there, see what materializes. Tonight, I really just wanted to write about my walk home.

The most spectacular thing was this: The sky was still bright, but overcast, only in a beautifully periwinkle hue, and to look up was to be lost in a forest of knotted, spontaneous and wondorously dark silhouettes. And I think I realized, that was all I really needed.

It looks like it's going to rain tonight, which is mostly unfortunate for all those chalk drawings on the sidewalks; it was otherwise a gloriously warm day today.

in honour of my good friend kdiggs...

2006-04-19T12:48:00.000-07:00

aggs.
this is for you

the french inhale

works everytime ladies.

originally for a friend...

2006-04-13T12:57:00.000-07:00

"Wanderer Above The Mists" Caspar David Friedrick, 1817-18

Just as the pious man prays without speaking a word and the Almighty hearkens unto him, so the artist with true feelings paints and the sensitive man understands and recognizes it."
-Caspar David Friedrich (1774-1840)

the ultimate in procrastination...

2006-03-31T18:15:00.000-08:00

as the title indicates, there is an art history paper awaiting attention. buuuut these questions are obviously life changing.

FOUR JOBS I'VE HAD: *(I think this section might also be called "4 times i've wanted to kill myself")
1. Videostop employee...
2. educational assistant (thus the revised title...)
3. Barrista (spelling?)
4. ticket clerk at the good old winkler aquatic centre.

FOUR MOVIES/SHOWS I'VE BEEN ADDICTED TO:
1. I'm not going to lie. I know you're all the same. I went through a severe Saved By The Bell phase.
2. seinfeld
3. sex and the city (kidaggady...i'm not going to mention you-know-what...)
4. ER (in the days of George)

FOUR PLACES I'VE LIVED:
1. Winkler
2.Winnipeg
3. England ? kind of
4. man i really haven't lived in 4 places? well i guess the depression will cut out any ambition to write a paper...

FOUR COUNTRIES I WOULD LIKE TO VISIT:
1. Belgium
2. Russia
3. Estonia (put on a preeeetty good show at the olympics)
4. Japan

FOUR POPULAR FALSE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT ME:
1. that i'm extroverted...
2. that i like blogs..well, that i like blogging
3. that i'm an angsty rebellious child of the night
4. that i like babies

FOUR PEOPLE I LOOK LIKE
1. bill
2. heath
3. kelly osbourne?? let's please try to write some comments including "there's no WAY you look like kelly osbourne..."
4. Once this old guy on the bus told me i looked exactly like his wife when she was young...

FOUR THINGS (I HOPE) TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
1. be complacent
2. do badly at school
3. be an irritating roommate
4. read boring textbooks
(i've accomplished everything i set out to do...allll in the way you look at it.)

2006-03-30T17:57:00.000-08:00

coffee, Turner, and 18th century aesthetic theory have claimed my evening. And likely a clove, but this will be much later.

Nevertheless, my heart tonight lies in an issue much larger than academics.

Only, the issue is too vast. Too immensly personal, too multifaceted, too complex for me to accomplish any sort of adequate expression tonight.

It is an issue of women. An issue of inequality, of submission, of nature, of instituion. It seems that my roommate and I have exhausted the topic, though neither of us ever satisfied, neither of us ever consistent. Both of us women of strength, passion and accomplishment. Both hungry for empowerment, both starving to understand ourselves in the face of such a question. However, we seem to define or seek or imagine this ideal in very different manners.
Like I said, an issue seems easily exhausted when there seems never to be a resolve.

Tonight, however, reflecting on the many polar opinions we've encountered in one another, I see that there is a piece of this issue upon which we are always agreed. Always united in hatred and disgust, restlessly awaiting our part in the solution. This is the issue of violence. Tonight, specific to women.

i don't really know where to begin.